Friday, August 18, 2006

Ok people. Here’s a warning that a lot of you have been asking me for, for a while, so here goes:


***Warning: KANK Spoilers Ahead***


What goes to make a Karan Johar film, a Karan Johar film? There’s the colors, the emotions, the song, the dance, the ‘cool’ factor, or rather the “wannabe cool” factor. (You know .. the one that Dil Chahta Hai achieved with flying colors, and the one that K3G and KHNH tried so hard but didn’t get even close to).

From the directorial point of view, there’s a few things that Karan seems to adore:

(1) The whoosh, fade through white touch, between different camera angle shots.

(2) Those profound lines that don’t mean too much, but carry gravitational intensity – a la “Mera pehla pyaar adhoora reh gaya, Riffat bi”.

(3) The delicate usage of the instrumental versions of songs in the background score.

But given the safe-house chocolateyness that made Karan Johar films so rainbowish, he re-surfaces with KANK.

To those who haven’t seen it, Don’t view KANK with the hype-tinted glasses that the world does. Don’t view KANK with the expectations of a Karan Johar film, with the anticipation associated with India’s largest casting coup. KANK’s biggest fear factor is the wave of enthusiasm that might cause it to be swept away by many, and not viewed as the emotional juggernaut that it truly is.

I would have to admit that KANK is, by far, one of Karan’s most “real” movies. Real because the characters are weak. Not in portrayal, but in essence; in character itself. In the past, he has always tried to portray people as larger than life – overtly gregarious, overtly rich, overtly happy – but this time, he makes an effort to make them seem rather … susceptible – to the innate power of circumstance.

The first scene that struck me was Shah Rukh’s accident – the starkness of it all. The vertically receding angle, his expression. Nicely done. Although I felt that the immediate contrast of how he has turned ‘mean’ because of his injury was sudden, but you know how Karan likes it in your face (pun severely intended).

Amitabh was the legend that he has always been – a tad bit over the top, but I can’t imagine anyone else in his age group, pulling off Sexy Sam, with the panache that he did. His relationship with Abhishek, was perhaps one of the most subtle father-son portrayals I have seen, which was brilliant. Rani was truly eye-caressing. Preity was barely tolerable.

I’m glad that the characters were centralized. They made the film what it is. Its usually a Dharma habit to throw in a bunch of nonsensical characters for comic appeal – like I was expecting a gay Sardar to bounce onto the screen, or a giggly gaggle of aunties straight out of Geriatric Park – but Karan was on a different track.

It is the “weakness” of his characters that comes across as surprising. You would notice that for the first time, a major film has highlighted more on the negatives of characters, than their positives.

Shah Rukh’s anger.

Preity’s resilience.

Rani’s pessimism.

Abhishek’s insecurity.

It is only once you sink your teeth into the meatiness of these characters, that you begin to experience where the film is coming from. Karan chooses the backdrop of New York City (and at times Philly), which has come to be recognized as a city that makes you ensconced by the most temporary of things.

But the key factor is that Abhishek stole Shah Rukh’s Thunder to the capital T, with sullen simplicity, and sheer “coolness”. Its probably because King Khan has got a personality that insists upon itself now. Could this be the beginning of the end of SRK? Who knows.

I loved the lack of resolution. The reality of the reactions. The fact that Amitabh’s death scene didn’t take an hour. The constant ricocheting of the film’s center of gravity, without losing soul. And what I truly, truly adored was the incoherence of who truly deserves the audiences’ sympathy or empathy at the end. In the turmoil of emotions that makes KANK, there is no guilty or innocent, no right or wrong.

Perhaps this is where critics were coming from, when they compared KANK to Closer. I see it now. Closer never resolved. And although KANK closes with the seemingly typical “Bollywood” resolution – the bittersweetness is what makes it different.

Do I think KANK is a phenomenon? Definitely not. But it has enough fire power to be an outstanding success, and enough mettle and diversity to be classified as a trendsetter.

Moments:

(1) The rain sequence where Rani litters, and Shah Rukh protests, outlining the role reversal. Reminded me of the scene where Kajol and Shah Rukh try to do their high school special hand-shake when they meet again in K2H2.

(2) The Amitabh-Abhishek jiggy in “Rock N Roll Soniye”

(3) The “Hi Rhea!” sequence where both Rani and Preity walk towards Shah Rukh. Brilliantly handled.

(4) One word: Kajol.

(5) The "I like Blue" sequence. Touching.

The picturization of Tumhi Dekho Naa, taking so much from the picturization of Pachai Nirame from Alai Payuthey - or rather for all you non-South Indians - the title track of Saathiya - was fairly decent, but the concept wasn't subtle enough like the rest of the film. Rani lived her role, except in the scene where Amitabh finds out and Rani is fumbling in the kitchen - that was awfully amateur. Shah Rukh and Rani kissing for the first time was missing passion the way Jain food misses spice - although their simple love scene later was elegantly done.

More Weak points? Right from the length to overcooking, too many for me to start with, and I think that everyone and their mother have covered most of them. The reason I’m not delving into them is because people need to view KANK for what it is – a film about the pursuit of selfish happiness, by a bunch of realistic, selfish and emotionally fragile 21st century-ites. The reason I’m not delving into them is because I could never say how anyone could’ve done it better or worse.

KANK stays within the confines of Bollywood, as much as it oversteps the lines, and that’s where it saves itself. I wouldn't be as kiss-ass as Taran Adarsh to say that KANK is 'bold'. I think films like Satya, Company and Page 3 are bold because they face stark reality, head-on - KANK explores the ongoing and eternal battle between the institution of marriage and the unpredictability of emotions - a challenge well-taken, but hardly bold. I don't think there is boldness in staring at yourself in the mirror and thinking twice about whether you're really living for yourself or someone else, asking yourself what you truly want, and whether you're truly happy. And that's what KANK does - it hands you that mirror.

In other news, ER - Nikhila was an absolute, ABSOLUTE doll! What a stunner! In that simple short’n’sweet role, she caught more Awwws than any other sequence in the movie. Bollywood calling!

so KANK doesn't tank..

Hmm. So Karan Johar's new Magnolia Opus is historically declared the biggest Bollywood opener ever in the overseas market, raking in a cool 13.75 crores in just 3 days in US, UK and Australia combined, which has certain film critics wetting their pants in excitement. Shockingly simple business model - all you need is money and hype and more money. Can't speak much since I haven't seen it, but the lord knows I want to.

Also, noteworthy, is to welcome my lil bro, Vishesh, to the blogging community, and his own website, even. (Any similarities to other sibling's websites/blogs are purely coincidental. No, really). Welcome aboard, your highness!

In other news, spent most of yesterday arguing with B and the team about the idea of the Google stock split, which is probably the only sensible solution to generate economies of scale. With the fear of saturation and if GS Stock Indicators are anything to go by, I think its common consensus that voluminous demand will only be good foresight. Sez you.

And remember, if you have a Dell laptop and a faulty battery, go here. If that doesn't help, go here.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Till Death do us ....

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.

Kinda redundant, no?

Vive Cuervo!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ponnuru Ponders...

Caught interviews of National Review columnist, Ramesh Ponnuru, on both the Daily Show and Colbert. I find his viewpoints on embryonic stem-cell research and pro-life, while condemning the Donkey-Dees as the "Party of Death", to be rather curious. Its obvious to see someone from a visibly conservative background speak on pro-life, but I think that Ponnuru does it with simple panache.

In other news, sad to see that a burping (and potentially stoned) britney makes it onto CNN's Headline News, these days. Doesn't help her non-existent image now, does it? But seriously, this one doesn't hurt me as much as hearing Elisha Cuthbert on XM, saying that she thought Beirut is in India. Now that knocked her on her 'atlas'.
Know Your Terrorist

Surprising how much PR these guys get. More than documentaries like "In the footsteps of Bin Laden", the celebrity status that these extremists have received in the last few years is demi-god-like. All that they need is a customer service help-line, and they're all set. "For ammunition supplies, press 1. For a Jihad refresher course, press 2"

In other news, I love the new Jetta safety ads. The dark silence at the end, during the offer screens, is chilling, but effective. Are you listening, Dr. Z? For lighter commercials, don't miss the "Funniest Commercials of 2005" with Kevin Nealon on TBS.

Wikky offered me a greater understanding of the Sepoy Mutiny and the events that led to our rebellion for Independence. Truly one of the most inspiring struggles in human/world history, and we should all be proud that thousands of devoted souls fought for the right for us to wear our independence pride today, instead of being under the crown like the rest of lads down under ;-) Not that I have anything against them 'roos - after all, a nation that brought us Fosters and Yellow Tail, can't be all bad, no?

Stand tall! Be proud, mah homies!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Dirty Mouth?

Cads! Fiends! How could they do that to the poor dear? :-(

In other news, whatever happened to the winners of the Mastercard "write your own priceless ad" campaign? I was waiting to see what people came up with.

Seriously speeching...

I get into trouble because of my unconventional (a.k.a retarded) way of wording things sometimes. It all began this morning, when I shot off an approval mail to Lynn at Ops regarding a new policy she was trying to put into effect, and she sent me a mail saying that she hadn't received it, and also asked me what I thought of the policy.

So, I shoot her a mail, saying that I resent it (as in "phirse bheja"). She took it as that I resent her policy (as in dislike). Here's the summary of the series of mails.

L: So what'd you think?
V: I resent it. (casual)
L: Why?
V: Because you asked for it. (surprised)
L: That bad, huh?
V: Ok, just cuz you got a policy approved by Legal, you don't have to start fishing for compliments. (sarcy)
L: Wow, if that's your compliment style, I would hate to get insulted by you.
V: But, I haven't even got started yet. (startled)
L: But what do you have against the policy? Does everyone in Marketing think that Ops are bottom feeders?
V: ? (confused)
L: Do you guys feel you're on top of the corporate food chain now, throwing little guppies to us, when you feel the fancy?
V: ?? (befuddled)
L: I hate this. We're the ones who do all the work. You just make the world aware of it. And ... and .... wait .... your e-mail says you approved it!
V: This is correct (totally baffled)
L: Then why did you say you resent it?
V: (moment of zen)

Sometimes, it takes one verbal typo, to start a flame session. But alas, the Marketing-Ops war continues. That's interesting. Its nice to see the bottom feeders do some efficient work for a change, even if its anti-establishment. Muhahahaha.

In other news, Jill Carroll's story is an exceptional one.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Diver-city.

How diverse can New York get? It amazes me at times. Doing lunch at a Turkmenistani place today. Leave alone the cuisine, I couldn't even find that place on a map. Although the cuisine has the dryness of Afghan food, but incorporates spices from Eastern Europe (hollandaise) and a lot of Turkish influence as well.

Just a thought - do you think people in Japan get freaked out by American horror movies, as much?

In other news, Hedonism Week Awards will be posted shortly, as will a review of KANK, which I shall catch this evening.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Ishwar Allah, tere jahaan main, nafrat kyun hai, jung hai kyun?
Tera dil to itna bada hai, insaan ka dil tang hai kyun?

Kadam kadam par sarhad kyun hai,
Saari zameen jo teri hai,
Suraj ke phere karti hai,
Phir kyun itni andheri hai,
Dil ke darwaazon par taale,
Taalon par yeh zang hai kyun.

Ishwar Allah, tere jahaan main, nafrat kyun hai, jung hai kyun?
Tera dil to itna bada hai, insaan ka dil tang hai kyun?

- Javed Akhtar, A R Rahman, Deepa Mehta (OST-1947 Earth)
RelationSHIPS that didn't set sail.

Aight, so sKANK didn't happen, this weekend. Will catch it during the early week. Abstinence from this mega-hyped movie has been possible due to collective negative opinion from sources from here and home.

Talking of home, I finally did a BicyTaxi ride, recently, and struck an interesting conversation with the cyclist, Hussain from Turkey - An Industrial Engineering student from Ankara, on summer vacation, provided with boarding and lodging by the association, and earning a cut of daily earnings to sightsee in NYC. Why does he do it? To meet new people, he tells me. I asked him if he'll ever settle down here in the US. The categorical answer? No. Why?

His answer made me think substantially.

He said, because it'll never be home.

A sentiment that I resemble. But it also makes you wonder - what is home? At a younger age, it was a zone where we felt safe. But today, is there such a place? At the end of the day, home is where you call it. At the back of the taxicab, on your way home from clubbing. At a rented apartment after a long day of work. At your friend's place, where he/she serves you hot coffee and solace after a fight with your significant other. At a sunset on a beach, far far away.

If home, like every other aspect of life, can be considered temporary - a haven that provides you with comfort and satisfaction from time to time - that would fuel the sustenance of a nomadic lifestyle.

In other news, Hedonism Week came to a glorious end on Friday, with Katra. Many thanks to my partners in wine, Nicole, Jen, Jonas, Chevy, Eric, Tracy (Cosa Nostro), Didi, Vinit, Amit, Michelle, Mel 'n' Nal, Shalini, Droofus and Rembrandt. And of course, that sizzlin' Uzbek waitress at Avalon who started throwing thongs out at everybody, when the Sisqo remix came on.

Trance re-discovered after a heady session of trance-grass and club-hopping during the week. I realized that the rulers of my trance-world remain the same. For progressive, deep, house, techno and ambient, it would have to be Darude, ATB, Tiesto, Tandu (Ayla), Oakenfold and Paul Van Dyk. And for percussive, there's just Safri Duo, and ATB's mixes of them. For collections - three words for you - Ministry of Sound.

Till the beat stops, people.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Tier-ed?

Usually, we end up needing what we can get, and wanting what we can never have. I think its hilarious the way life is structured. The way our basic necessities have been creatively modified, and how intricately the "class" system has found its way into everything.

Food. Basically a need for sustenance, but now tiered into high-end restaurant chains right down to trashy drive-thrus.

Clothing. Basically a need to cover nakedness, but now tiered into designers right down to bargain basements.

Drink. Basically a need for nourishment, but now tiered into top-shelf right down to canned sodas.

Entertainment. Basically a need to prevent boredom, but now one can drop big-Gs for bottle service at clubs; front row seats to a rock concert, right down to discount peanut gallery seats on Off-Broadway rejects.

Transportation: Basically a need to move from place to place, since the invention of the wheel, but now tiered right from First Class or Luxury Vehicles, right down to Coach and Compacts.

There's a classification for everything, today. Pretty soon, we'll have this in religion as well. The Cool Gods, whose followings are esoteric. The kind that you need to be 25 and over, and dressed to impress, in order to be worthy of worship. Upgrades available.

I've concluded that there are three kinds of things in life - Things you want, Things you need and IPods.

In other news, expect a review of sKANK, later tonite.

And remember, a friend in need, is no friend of mine.

Friday, August 11, 2006




Don. I adore the look. Gotta give that to Monsieur Akhtar. He gets the look and feel right, although he falters in the screenplay department, at times.


In other news, tonight, this is Drinks and Dinner.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Interception

Now that the world's wide awake to the onset of terror, its commendable to see the level of interception of fanatical network activities, by the authorities. As much as we cringe at the thought of detailed airport security searches, and even for that matter, racial profiling during these searches, its no more an issue of convenience, its now a matter of lives and deaths.

However, I have more praise for the work of New Scotland Yard in this developing story, than for the boys at DHS, who are too busy changing national terror color codes to match the M&Ms that they're hogging on.

In other news,
Q) What is Karan Johar's primary preference when buying a house?
A) Closet space.

And remember, what can't kill you, is definitely not poisonous enough.
Sliding Doors

Yes, I'm back on the elevator etiquette topic again. I don't know why, but this facet of daily vertical commuting fascinates me.

Probably because its the most awkward social situation in the world. You could be chatting up a storm with your friend/colleague, but it all goes down when you enter .... the elevator (ominous gong). Awkward silence prevails.

Of course, there are a few of those jolly ranchers around, who walk in whistling a tune, throwing out a quick "hello" or "cute baby", to be responded by the chagrin-filled combination of squinting of the eyes, fake smile and nod of the head (try it at home, people, squint-fake-nod! yay, well done!).

Then of course there's the guy who hits the wrong floor. Oh god! As Chandler would say, could you BE more retarded? This is clear blasphemy, everyone. Now there are two situations. If he/she hits a floor lower than his/her floor, by mistake, which affects HIM/HER and has them staying a few seconds longer in ... the elevator (ominous gong) ... then there's a grunted sigh that the specimen emits, which may be supported by the optional pumping of the fist or cuss word. However, notice when the specimen hits a floor higher than his floor, which affects the OTHERS on the lift, and NOT him/her. Ah!! this one's interesting. There is still some degree of upsetness, but not as much, because he couldn't really give a shyte. However, flattening of lips and apologies ensue, and some mumbling amongst the fellow-elevatorers goes about in ... the elevator (sorry, you have exceeded the maximum number of gongs. Please contact your local gong administrator, or our technical support desk based in Hong Gong).

In other news, some downtime may soon become absolutely necessary for recharging purposes. Looking forward to acquiring tastes in Chicago, this Labor Day, and Dubai/India in December.

And remember, love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.
While certain well-fed film critics chomp away at Legacy of China after their review is obviously compensated by hefty sums and dim-sums, do await the original, the unbiased, the clean review of KANK which one shall submit, during the wee hours of Friday night, post-screening.

In other news, this evening is about, Rakhi on Times Square (funky, no? pictures will be posted), followed by Buddha Bar, and dinner and unwind at Rewind (Italian-Asian fusion food) on Essex Street. 2 more days and hedonism week dissolves into the weekend, marking the commencement of a 2-week hiatus in spiritual (i.e. consumption of spirits) activity.

No, I'm only kidding.

And remember, he who laughs last, probably didn't get the joke the first time.
The wait is over!


Commence the revolution of eternity
now.....

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Munh taqaa hi kare hai jis tis ka
Hairati hai ke yeh aaina kiska?

- Mir Taqi Mir

Deep.

And remember, in a dog-eat-dog world, the survivor is going to be the one with the biggest appetite.

Hungry, kya?
Baar baar din yeh aaye

Baar baar hum bhool jaayein

Tum jeeyo hazaaron saal

Yeh meri hai aarzoo

and many more such cliched burfday songs!

but the underlying message is pretty clear....

Happy Birthday, Xinu!!!
Belated, but tres heartfelt! :-)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Sleeping Beauty and the Beast


KANK: 3 Days to go! Kindly do not suck! I have way too many emotional hopes and bonds with this flick.

I know its Karan Johar. I know its going to be your typical fairy-directed, happy-snappy, comedy-track-supported pinnacle of gaydom. But heck, that's what makes Bollywood seem all rosy and pink........ with a tinge of lavender, by the way......... and maybe some frilly velv........ OK STOP.

Also, I'm so glad that Desi TV on Broadband has finally arrived, and I'm lovin' it. Check out Planetvu, and I would strongly suggest getting Zee Music. Great way to keep in touch with the pop/filmi music scene back in India, especially when you don't want to wait for the weekend to catch those lame Sat/Sun shows. Lot of new channels are supposed to be coming on board soon.

In other news, today's Hurricane Hedonism forecast includes unwinding to the Blues at Dizzy's on Columbus Circle, followed by Asian fusion dinner, wine and views at Asiate, and our post-dinner lounge of choice being MOBar at the Mandarin Oriental. Although public outcry has been raised over the fact that Rise is not our nightcloser, MO shall prevail.
Living it up in NYC

As part of my self-avowed pledge to hedonism (it was a tough decision, mind you, but with all your support, I know I'll pull through ... I just know it .. *sniffle* ... *glug* *glug*), tonight's about Strata, Flute and Sushi Samba.

In other news, its August 2006. Soon we celebrate 59 years of Independence. Be Proud to be Desi!
HaaaahahaHAhahahahAHhahAHh
OOOOHhahahahHAhahHAhahH
AAAaaaahhahhahahahahahahah
haaahaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa!
ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ah ha haa haah ahaha ah haaa haaa!
ha .... ha ! ... wow ... that was fun!


In other news, Alaska should be dismembered. First of all, its the last state anyone thinks about. And now its screwing up our gas prices. Tell them Eskimos to Haul Ice! Go forth, o cold furballs, grow gills and start finding your bearings in the Bering. We will not have you promoting hybrids in a nation that thrives on wasteful luxury vehicles!

Monday, August 07, 2006




Switched at birth? Funny thing is that Carrie sings jingles for "Reeses Pieces". Hyuk hyuk. I crack myself up.

In other news, is it just me or is there a lot more roadkill out there than usual? Maybe its a sign that we're finally approaching Armageddon, i.e. furry little animals on suicidal spree.
Un-fair

Its amazing how much of a killer song, Rihanna's Unfaithful would've been if she didn't have that piercing, nasal, glass-splicing voice of hers. Its such a brilliantly orchestrated song.

As I recover from the haze that was Saturday Night (we ended up doing both 57-57 and Rise after hours, wrapping our night(?) up at 8:30 AM). Chevy was more than thrilled as we watch the sunrise outdoors at 'Rise', and the staff brought us complimentary mimosas in the morning. Late-night-bounty-hunters, this place is the deal!

In other news, This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a while - Sonu on Johnny Lever's talk-show. Sonu's imitations of Anu Malik, SPB, Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan, Kailash Kher, Suresh Wadkar and Adnan Sami are absolutely lethal! This guy is a phenomenon.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Coffee Day?

So Starbucks stock fell a few days ago, and this is the best excuse they could come up with. Reduction in footfalls at their facilities. Kyun bhai? Because its summer. So? So its summer, people need more frappucinos. So? Well, Frappucinos take longer to make versus espressos, therefore lesser footfalls, and hence stock falls.

Aight, and how gullible are we, the trading audience, again? I mean, we weren't born yesterday, buddy. We're e-trade (not Ameritrade) junkies, roaster boy. "We don't need no, broker nation".

Someone needs to tell these ol Sumatra java-layers to get them acts together. Give ol Starbucks some magic beans, nigga - I got some invest-inventory on dem baristas!

In other news, this Saturday night, is all about Avalon followed by APT (Cazzo Pazzo spins) followed by Crobar, this Saturday = trance-a-delic! Vodka and Russianz at Pravda, and late night dessert at Cafe Mozart. Secret chances (but don't tell her I told you) of hitting up Fifty Seven Fifty Seven, or if the weather is nice - Rise - for some Crystal later on at night, to ring in Chevy's birthday in shtyle - something dem Canadians are never good at, eh? I Love New York City, mah fogies.

(notice how my blog tries to write about things pertaining to everybody, and tries not to be judgemental about ridiculous little things. Well, some people should take a hint from that and get their bloghorns in order. Really - Some people need a life!)

Friday, August 04, 2006

In other news, STICK IT TO 'EM, MA HOMIES, STICK TO 'EM!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe, its make-believe

To all those retards who think that advertising is just a "job" and not a "career", I say this.

* Without advertising, a simple Crest-white flat-chested mp3 player wouldn't become the fashion statement of the century.

* Without advertising, the Razr would just be a mispelt shaving instrument.
(Heck, without advertising, people would still be using Nokias. Do you hear a Japanese guy weeping? maybe its just his low-battery phone beeping).

* Without advertising, there would only be cigarettes, no Lights, Milds or Ultralights, which are basically color-codes for the same exact thing.

* Without advertising, there wouldn't be so many detergent companies trying to invent shinier and higher wattage light bulbs to outshine the whiteness of "generic brand's" post-wash clothing.

* Without advertising, the "Axe" effect would just be the wierd feeling you get after you accidentally chop your arm off in a woodshop incident.

* Without advertising, artery clogging food services would have been deep-incarcerated, not multi-franchised. You loving it, yet?

* Without advertising, you'd still be eating Corn Flakes for breakfast, and Vanilla ice cream for dessert.

* Without advertising, there'd just be cars. There wouldn't be cars that make you salivate.

* Without advertising, they'd finally have to make a complete 30-minute sitcom. Oh the shame.

* Without advertising, people wouldn't know that the right mouthwash can get you into the pants of that hot Venezuelan supermodel.

* Without advertising, we wouldn't know which vodka/beer/rum makes you look cool, (although upon experimentation, clinical tests prove that its usually the one that burns a hole right through your pocket).

* Without advertising, Banana Republic would just be a fruity nation, the Gap would be something you mind before you board the Tube in London, Kenneth Cole would be garishly homeless, and nearly-correctly-spelt swear words wouldn't be 'happening', now would they?

* Without advertising, David Ogilvy would have been a very depressed man.

* Without advertising, there'd be people, not legends; there'd be products, not phenomenons; there'd be leaders, not idols.

Support the multi-billion dollar industry that makes you who you are, and makes you wanna be who you're not.

Support the powerful global mechanism that raises the bar of extra-ordinary existence every minute of every day.

Support advertising.

(Its the Rolls Royce of career options - a simile you wouldn't understand, if it weren't for itself)

This vent is purely a result of thought processing of the writer, and is not supported entirely or holistically by Advertisers, Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Associations of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies. In addition to occupying web space, this disclaimer protects all of the afore-mentioned parties from any kind of legal, administrative, emotional, psychological or sexual objection as a result of advertising-related issues, injuries or permanent disabilities. In addition to the above factors, this disclaimer would also like to inform you that If you are still reading this, you need a life.

Thursday, August 03, 2006



Rishton ke neele bhanwar,
Kuch aur gehre hue,
Tere mere saaye hain,
Paani pe thehre hue,

Jab pyaar ka, moti gira,
Badhne laga daayraa.

- Rahat Indori

Translation

The blue limpid whirlpools, that are relationships,
Are made even more deep and intense,
As yours and my reflection,
are cast upon these waters.

As the pearl of love, falls upon it,
The divide starts to become more distinct.

True on so many levels....

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Would you?

Every person has that moment in life, when they contemplate this very thought... What if I just threw it all away, and pursued something so dangerously different than what my mode of life permits? This could be for a creative passion, or for someone you love to death. Its a true crossroads situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I've seen .. people on both sides of this trajectory. Surprisingly, it doesn't even require it necessary for you to be unhappy with your life, for you to be at these crossroads. Life could be perfectly normal, ecstatically happy even. And then it hits you. What if? Granted that there would be people out there who'd probably never forgive you, because stepping out of cemented layers of time-ingrained values and life concepts, will come to many as a shock. But what if you don't. And continue to live the sedentary and safe life that you have come to exist within, or is it co-exist with?

Would you?
Here ya go....

Dheem Tana: My universal anthem for World Peace
(Best experienced on a pair of good-quality surround headphones)

With wishes of love and peace,

Vishal

Sunday, July 30, 2006

"to die upon a kiss".

Its usually an arduous task to attribute a single emotional characteristic to any of the Bard's plays. But in the case of Othello, its all about one thing - envy.

My earliest memory of Othello is watching the Laurence Olivier version on television, following which I read the unabridged original, and it impacted me instantly. The well-etched characters, and in true S'peare style, the multi-dimensional emotional gradient. One of the lines, which frankly has no relevance to the eventual plot, but goes to show how deeply ingrained the Bard wanted to have his characters, in prose, is one that stuck with me through the years (in addition to the title of this entry, which happens to be the last line of the play). When Desdemona's father bids goodbye to her, as she leaves with Othello, Iago and Emilie, he tells Othello, "Look to her, Moor, if thou hast eyes to see. She has deceived her father, and may thee".

Makes you think about all those times when your lover has told you that they would leave their family, their parents and everything for you. While this is an adventurously romantic thought, it ought to make you question their loyalty to you, instead of honoring their love for you, in the future tense, as per Brabantio's words. But that's not how our world works, does it?

After I read Othello, Merchant, Macbeth and Twelfth Night, I began to envision that S'peare, psychologically, lived in a parallel universe. His thoughts did not coincide with ours, nor did his emotional quotient. His world was a world where every thought, every nuance of our psyche was heightened to high heavens, and in viewing things, Shakespeare-style, in a larger than life, larger than yourself plane, one began to understand themselves and their world better. To those who scoff and say that S'peare sensationalized things and over-glorified and over-proliferated emotions to an un-decipherable extent, I say, you can only analyze your mind, when you place a magnifying glass on our thoughts. And S'peare was one of those few souls who had the capability to do so. His plays were limpid pools of sensible profundity, which, without bordering on abstruseness, have the capability of shaping our world, even today. And frankly, will continue to do so, many, many years into the unknown.

As he said it best in Hamlet, "For in that sleep of death .... what dreams may come".

Dheem Tana

zindagi ek jung hai
jung mein tang zindagi
mazhabon ke naam pe
ghut rahi hai zindagi

nazron ke saamne jo na aaye
ek jawaab jo man ko bhaaye
saaz mein,
awaaz mein,
jab mile sabhi...

....to saara zamaana gaaye ... dheem taana

dheem taana
a call for peace

Watch this space

Saturday, July 29, 2006



Applaudio!

Yes, I got 'em! Picked 'em up from the Apple Store, and everything I heard about them was right.


First and foremost, Bang and Olufsen rules! Apple is a rockstar for bringing this high-end product from esoteric anonymity to semi-consumerism level. This pair of earphones surpasses anything else I've ever had (and I've had Koss, Bose, Sony and Shure), in terms of sound quality, clarity of background, surround and comfort.

Priced to kill, but unbelievably worth it! Highly, highly recommended.

In other news, if you're brown and you know it, don't miss this for the f-in world!

Friday, July 28, 2006

You know what I can't wait for?

The Fall release of the Original Soundtrack of Mira Nair's "Namesake"

Wanna know why?

Music created and composed by the inimitable Nitin Sawhney

Ya hear?

Slick!!! Sounds like a home run.
Hope Farhan's found his lakshya, man

else he's gonna be driving around mumbai going "main aisa kyun hoon?"
Hum Bill Pay Chuke Sanam

Funny how much of an issue this is. Goes down in history as one of the most landmark moments of mankind. Genesis. Fall of the Roman Empire. Bill Payments. The most ominous part is "Auto Bill Pay". Although its an attractive fuggedaboutit option, you always have this "should I shouldn't I" situation when opting for it. Credit, Electricity, Water, Gas, Internet, Cable, Escort Services ... oops .... how did that get there? .... but you see my point ... the list is endless. My point is - why not consolidate it all! Have one common monthly payment which will take care of everything. De-privatize everything! Marxism!

In other news, I need a drink.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Cafe Del Mar

From what I've heard - home to one of the most peaceful sunsets in the world - and a label that spells a.m.b.i.e.n.t. - some of the most dark, inspiring, thought-provoking, soul-searching tracks have come out of this little sunset cafe's sessions over the years.

With the presence of ambient lounge heavyweights right from the mid-90s works of Jose Padilla and Beat Foundation, down to Moby, Substructure and Afterlife, this quaint little San Antonio music label has seen ambient music move from corporate elevators to social lounges. And I'm so glad it did, cuz what would we have done without it.

Dominated today by legends like Nacho Sotomayor, Rue De Soleil, Future Loop Foundation (to name a few), CDM welcomes new artists with the only key ingredient being the necessity for such vivid uniqueness in their music, that its incomparable to the advanced musical ear.

Very few Indians have graced the annals of Cafe Del Mar's esoteric CD collection, that comes out once a year.

The first to make it on there was A R Rahman with the haunting theme tune of Bombay in 1998, followed by Talvin Singh's Traveler (mixed by Kid Loco) and Nitin Sawhney's Homelands (one of my FAVORITE ambient tracks in the history of ambient tracks) in 1999.

In other news, the first time I heard Homelands was on a Bang & Olufsen BeoSound 9000 at a friend's villa in Dubai, and it was love at first note. I feel B&O is a very underplayed designer, especially when it comes to its low-marketing techniques vis-a-vis its comparatively-uncool counterpart, Bose.

But by far, its truly for the musical connoisseur, and not for the dude who wants to buy a music system cuz it *shudder* looks cool. When it comes to appreciating good lounge themes, and even dark trance for that matter, you have to hear it on an Olufsen, because it accentuates every single element.

Here's to my next musical investment. ;-)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Yesterday evening, involved dinner and drinks with my muse at B.E.D, followed by dessert and coffee at Daniel. I seriously recommend this order of events for an enchanting evening.

Try hitting B.E.D (which beyond the presence of some magnificent mattresses, stands for Beverages, Entertainment and Dining) a little earlier in the evening, get dinner reservations at the outdoor patio, and watch the sunset over midtown Manhattan. Paul Oakenfold spins their tonight, btw, and I don't plan to miss it. Takers?
One, Two ... Princes here before you ... That's what I said now.

In other news, the popularity of the TV show, Friends, was such that, by the end of the series, the six main cast members were each paid US$ 1,000,000 per episode.

WHAT?

Advertisements during the series finale, which attracted an audience of over 52 million viewers, cost $2,000,000 for a 30-second spot in the United States and CAD$190,000 in Canada.

Again. WHAT?

Courteney.... How YOU doin'?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Random thoughts on the E train.

"Somewhere out there, there may be someone exercizing their power to freeze time on and off, and we wouldn't ever know it"

In other news, Tantra T-shirts rule. I used to love these shirts back in college in India - a bit pricey for the kinda stipend we used to work off of, but indulgence never looked so cool.

Tantra's motto is "First World creativity at Third World prices", which is totally clutch! My favorite Tantratee was one with the image of the Taj Mahal, that said "Via Agra: Man's greatest erection for a woman".
People, People. Anonymous Commenting is passe. Come forth and be recognized.

In other news, Sneek peek at images from the making of KANK, courtesy DNA. Everyone, please turn to gape and gawk at the fashion sense and gayness of one Karan Johar. *Gag*.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A Consummate Soundtrack

The tragedie of "Omkara" is encompassed melliflously in the score by Vishal Bharadwaj. Very few times does an OST come along, which is as eclectic (or as we say in Hindi, "hat ke") as it is comprehensive. A Chennai Philharmonic Orchestra blended with musicians from London and other parts of the world, come together to make a veritable musical battlefield, that is Omkara. The last album of this intensity, in my opinion, was Taal, and before that, Dil Se. But that's primarily cuz A R Rahman is God.

The title track is Energy. Namak is passionate, Beedi is naughty, O Saathi Re is heart-rendered, and Naina is painful. With each song having its own integral identity, Omkara comes across as an album that Vishal Bharadwaj has worked on diligently, and experimented and re-experimented with at multiple stages.

Not just in rhythm, most of the songs have such a meteoric rise and speedy build-up, that it is almost difficult for the listener to keep up with the songs' enthusiasm. Especially Namak, which, in addition to the usage of the word "Issak", is a song that I don't think too many people will appreciate, understand or evaluate. Accentuated by Rekha Bharadwaj's sensual vocals, Namak's diversity is its sex appeal - before you get used to the thumri-like nature of the song, you are delicately surprised by the usage of light piano interludes, put off at first and then entranced by the strings set that is ushered in, suddenly.

Till the closing riffs of the Instrumental minute and a half long "Tragedie of Omkara" track, in which you can literally feel the chorus section weep their emotions across to you, listening to this OST is almost Hitchcockian because you never know what to expect. In an era of predictability, commercialism and Himesh Reshammiya, this soundtrack comes across as the essential breath of fresh air after the suffocation of monotony. More like this, Bollywood. More like this.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

"There are three kinds of married people in the world. First, whose marriages are arranged. I've never understood that, but I'm sure they know what they're doing. Then there are those who fall in love and marry their soul mates. These few, I believe, are the most fortunate people in the world. And lastly, there are those couples that marry for their parents, for money or play it safe and marry a friend. These are the most unfortunate ones in the world... and they don't even know it. Until one day, riding the fast train of life they run into their soul mate, and are faced with the hardest question of all. What do you do when you meet the love of your life and you're married to someone else? What do you do? What do you do?" - Karan Johar

hmmmm. at least he's not profound.

in other news, KANK. First day First show. its a must-do.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Chahenge tujhe par, kabhi rusva na karenge,
Saaye se bhi apne, tera shiqvaa na karenge.

Saeed Rahi's words. Such intensity. In today's works, as the Peas would say it best, Where's the love?

And even more intensely, is it really missed?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

And we have a winner!

All contestants, please e-mail me mailing addresses to redeem your DVDs. But I have a winner who will make all your responses seem like paani kam chai (water-less tea - don't ask!)

E - that's a legendary response. Check out her new website and blog, but she went totally above and beyond the contest, not only to respond, but to come up with a top 10 list, as to why one should be president.

All I can say is .. eat my shorts, dubya! Thanks, E. Your DVD is in the mail ;-)

Worried & VO for PREZ!!....July 19, 2006
Alright, I'm offically worried about my friend, V. Oberoi, for the rest of the article referred to by me as VO. The poor guy who normally has quite a humorous side, is going a bit morbid and has watched Rang De Basanti so many times, he is now quoting directly from the film... AND not Aamir Khan lines... no from Anupam Kher's dialogues...Poor VO and since we keep playing phone tag, I'm hoping once he reads this, he'll realize there are those of us in the world, who care and hope he's doing well....Which he should be, quite shortly here....

But as he has asked, and my wanting to win an official DVD copy of RDB, hopefully one with better subtitles than the one I've already got....here's the official "TOP 10 DAVID LETTERMEN-ESQE reasons as to why VO should be President:

#10-There would be NO First Lady.

#9-Sari's and Bhindi's would become cool in the States.

#8-Words like petrol, cousin brother/sister would become common, instead of words like Kin, ya'll...

#7-Hindi would become our second language instead of freakin Spanish

#6-Bollywood's entry into the Oscar's would finally WIN!

#5-The swearing in Ceremony, would be unlike anything the good old White, Anglo community has ever seen, music composed by A.R. Rahman, Farah Khan choreography, Manish Malhotra designs, Ram Gopal Varma Direction.

#4-The speech would include dialogues from famous Hindi films.

#3-All the Brown people could holla "Hail Hindustani!"

#2-The official White House menu would now include, idli, Dosa, Goan Coconut chicken, Naan, Fried Rice, Chicken Tikka Masala....

AND Finally

#1-Because, I would get to be a "Presidential" speech writer and quite possibly press secretary.
HAHAHAHAHAH! Pure and utter genius!
The anthem of our generation

Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I've got

We're one
But we're not the same
Well we Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt

- U2
A line that rings so true for those doing business with India. Anupam Kher says this to his brother over the phone, in Rang De Basanti.

"India mein jab shaadi hoti hai, to dulhe ke saath saath, saari baraat khaati hai ..... aur band-waale bhi"

(When a guy gets married in India, then, along with him, the entire entourage gets to reap the revelry, as well as the wedding band)

In other news, thanks to the CitiNRI RDB campaign, you can easily spot my cube by the insane mounds of Rang De Basanti DVDs next to it.

Here here. Hark, its A Contest. (Too much Shakespeare in the Park)

RevolutionEvolution Announces the "Baj Gayee Ghanti, Rang De Basanti" Contest!
Whoever wants a free DVD of Rang De Basanti, leave me a comment telling me why I should be President of the United States. Free copies will be sent out to all for trying, and a special surprise gift for the wittiest response!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Make way for the Capricorn!

Mr. A R Rahman! You are ... officially ... without doubt .... the man!

You make me proud to be January's son!
Dialling is my birthright, and I will do it!

Aight, for all those who dialed/e-mailed/commented me this morning to ask whether I was ok, post reading my "Questioning Loyalties" piece - I love you all for the thought. I'm perfectly aight. However thanks to you, my phone is now out of battery, from vibrating itself to death. (On a parallel, but curious mindfield, what a way to die. But I digress)

A lot behind that thought. Bombs over Beirut, for one. And several other things that stare me in the face and show me inch-by-inch, how the world is veering away towards atypicality. Shocks me at times, how much the world has moved towards "Love Thy Neighbor" to "Love Thyself First". Its for the personal good at each level, of that I'm sure. Is it for the global good?

Well, its Adam Smith vs. John Nash. The barroom revelation scene from A Beautiful Mind. The father of economics spoke of global and holistic economic progress by concurrent widescreen thought during every major decision. John Nash disproved that to gain the pride of Princeton (and his privileged and privy 'personalities'). Actually, I wouldn't really go as far to say disproved, I'd say "re-opined" and ended up re-opening a can of worms, there. But Nash's philosophy claimed that if every economic entity thought of singular progress ahead of global, it would result in global economic good. Or as they say when things go down, every man for himself.

In other news, its so difficult to write the word SINGULAR with an S. First of all, the branding efforts of a certain telecom provider have been so widespread and omnipresent, that its mentally difficult to consider the word to be correct in its original form. I almost hit spellcheck before it struck me. Secondly, I guess its a rare word to start with, so. Not part of common lingo at all.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Excerpt from a conversation between Bush and Blair, at a summit press conference yesterday, when they were unaware that the mics were open to recording:

Bush: See the irony is what they (the UN) need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over.

Don't believe me?

This is what happens when his chief of staff (speech writing division) takes a day off.

My god, Mr. President, this is world politics, not crazed cattle rustling. Now get that twig of hay out of your mouth, put on those stetsons and ride into the sunset, and let some real president take over.

Yeah. I know. Not gonna happen.
Questioning Loyalties.

The world is 'coming of age'. The difference lies in the pretext. While some are flaunting their era-aged 'rights' and fundamentals through revolution, the rest of the world is dawning on realization. While some are fighting for reasons that they are yet to completely understand, purely propelled by some kind of fascist propaganda that they have learnt by rote, the others are now questioning tradition, questioning the propensity of thoughts and ideals that people have blindly followed over the years, and conveyed through pedigree to generations. Somehow, in some hemi-fantasmic way, I can represent this, in vision, by saying that while half the world is laid to sleep by the blindness of their faith, the rest of the world is now awakening by the true perception of their world. People have now begun to question everything around them, and have begun to do what's right for them, and are breaking out of the cocoon of convention to do so. And pretty soon, the veil of guilt, that prevents them from savoring their new-found happiness to the fullest, will fall. Who would've ever thought, that you can find peace within yourself, when you begin questioning loyalties.

Its heartwarming, to say the least.

As for the girl with the broken smile, just know that i will always be here. just know that no one, and i mean no one, has ever graced a piano with a magic touch, the way you have. just know that your music emanates from your heart and i love the way music is not just a part of your life, but your way of life. just know that you will be missed. truly.

In other news........... nah.... wouldn't be fair to the integrity of my words, to say anything else. Love thyself, everyone.

Friday, July 14, 2006

My Readers in Dubai - could anyone send me a current pic of the construction of the Burj Dubai? Its for a journalism project I'm work on. Would be thoroughly appreciated, and gifted with several things including Dubai Duty Free Premium Label Spirits when I visit.
Piya Bavari Again is an album featuring lounge/dark trance versions of Indian classical songs rendered by Pt. Ajay Pohankar. One particular song worth checking out is the Hindustani rendition of Yesudas' Ka Karoon Sajni. Check it out here.

And for those of you who are interested (yes, all one and a half of you) the Saturday 7/15 PhotoTour will include, but is not restricted to the following locations.
  • Brooklyn Bridge
  • Grand Central Terminal
  • Times Square
  • Morningside Drive
  • Grand Concourse
  • South Street Seaport
  • Ground Zero
  • Columbus Circle
  • Central Park
  • Statue of Liberty
  • Greenwich Village
  • Wall Street
Optimized directional support provided by the quintessential Hopstop.com. Its ambitious, but its gonna be fun! I'll be clicking away like a Japanese tourist on steroids.

Talking of Japanese tourists, I just noticed that Japanese people hate to be stared down. Not just plain dislike, they really hate it. They can't take it. They go all karate-eyed, when this is attempted. At which point I'm like, so what are you gonna do, mitsubishi? tie me down and feed me raw fish. oh wait, you already do that.
The New York Times Review calls "The Great New Wonderful", the first great film about 9/11. The review is so spot-on accurate that its criminal.

The best part about GNW is that it doesn't hit the 9/11 aftermath head on, but derives its humor and situation from a series of parallel stories (much like Crash, only not). Sharat Saxena and Naseeruddin Shah have two great roles as security guards from Queens, and Naseeruddin stands out. Stephen Colbert has a funny lil cameo as a school principal. This film debuted at Tribeca, and got rave and well-deserved reviews. In the city, its been resorted to 4 shows at a Clearview in the Meatpacking District, but gets a great crowd of Tischies, Tisch-Hopefuls and the omnipresent Tisch-Wannabes (For the unitiated, Tisch being the esoteric and uber-competitive Film School of New York University, which features a who's-who list of celeb-graduates including Oliver Stone, Spike Lee, Ang Lee, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and our very own, M. Night Shyamalan, who is currently into wet women (how wrong can i be?).

But you know the interesting part? After drooling over GNW, its difficult to associate its director Danny Leiner, in any shape or form, with his two former pieces of work - namely "Dude Where's My Car" and "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle". Talk about a paradigm shift, homey!

In other news, kiss the mistletoe, hang the girl.
20 days of work, and a month gets over? Man, life is short.

Noteworthy: Jackson agreed when they divorced to pay his ex-wife $1 million a year for the first three years after their split and $750,000 annually for six more years. Rowe also received a house in Beverly Hills and a 1998 Ford Explorer. She agreed to visit her children only once every 45 days, according to the lawsuit.

Ever thought - what would Jackson's personal ad look like?

48-year old unearthly-looking S B/W M/F, Multi-racial, multi-faceted and multi-divorced, but has single handedly funded fast-changing lifestyles of every cosmetic surgeon in America, loves slippery tiles, enjoys dangling own kids outside hospital windows and sleeping with other's kids afterwards
Pick Up Line: Do you know where my other glove is?
Editor's note: Don't bother shaving on your first date. He once dated a chimpanzee. How much hairier can you possibly be?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

I feel that Capote, the film, increased the sales of Mockingbird, much more than "In Cold Blood". Probably because the way the loyal character of Harper was portrayed, and it made people want to perceive what she would write, vis-a-vis Truman, who was etched into our minds to the extent that we could predict the entire text of "In Cold Blood" by watching the movie.

I picked up the last copy of this book from B&N, today, and has it become my commute-buddy!

Highly recommended.

In other news, stumbled across this song after much hunting and searching! It was on a very early French lounge album, that featured Andre Bocelli's work, dating back to the mid 90s. The song's called "You Take My Breath Away" by Sarah Brightman and Andre Bocelli, and is primarily awesome cuz of the sampled and string-bassed usage of Asha Bhosle's "Dil Cheez Kya Hai" from the original Umrao Jaan. Its legit, because of the build and transition into a semi-African rhythm/vocal piece. It also borrows a flute interlude that sounds suspiciously like an element from the background score of Gupt (Viju Shah's music).

Don't lose patience with this track. It has the tremendous ability to grow on you. Plus its rare.

Anyhow - here it is, youngeons. Now be gone! ;-)

I call this piece, "Church Vs. State".

(Location: Manhattan's Fifth Avenue, Church of St. Thomas)

The diagonal imagery is a means to highlight the contrast between things Corporate and things Episcopal.

A pre-cursor to the (much over-hyped) photo-tour of NYC which I will be embarking on this weekend. Expect more details!



















A more clear picture of the Church of St. Thomas. What stands out is the intricate architecture, versus the comparatively stoic and repeat-patterned edifices that make Manhattan the concrete jungle that it is.
Michelangelo

In advertising lingo, that is the name given to a ad spread across the inside ceiling of a moving public vehicle (bus/train). Cool, no?

In other news, I think this is the most awesome philanthropic site ever. The best part is that beyond just plain 'giving', they encourage people to get on their feet and work. Kudos to Kiva.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Interesting: Music Launch of KANK

(1) Karan Johar is Gay

(2) Mitwa is a phenomenon!
Elevator Etiquette

(1) The "Rudolph": When the person in the elevator pretends to reach for the "Open Door" button, when you're running towards the closing doors, but doesn't do much, and you end up ramming your nose onto cold steel, causing it to go red. This gesture is also referred to as the "I-Don't-Really-Care-But-Pretend-Really-Hard" move.

(2) The "Elevator Shuffle": The way people move around in an assembly formation, depending on the order of floors that have been clicked, so as to avoid coming in someone's way, but also to help you get off the damn elevator sooner.

(3) "Mr. Nice Guy": The inevitable cool dude who asks people for the floor they want to go to, and pretends to be the Lord of the Lifts. As if all the people on the elevator have hand-related deficiencies from over-usage over the weekend, and Mr. SmartAss is the only one with the magical fore-finger that can get people up in life.

(4) "Impatience is a virtue": The guy who triple-clicks the Open Door button when the Elevator reaches his floor. Dude, its gonna open. Chill. No one's gonna keep you in this elevator, strip you down, and make you do the hula dance while playing connect the dots with your liver spots.

(5) "Hercules": Guy who manages to slide in through closing doors, and split the elevator doors apart. Notice the struggling gesture that they make as they do this - like they're passing a stone or something. They're doors, person, not Redwoods.

(6) "I'm-too-sexy-for-this-crowd": Usually seen on Wall Street - guy in pinstripe-Domenico Vacca suit walks into elevator, clicks his floor and does the stare-around. Spending his 10-seconds catching a glimpse of each person on the elevator - like he's recording them to memory for his serial-murder task list, later in the afternoon - and then doing the smile, to satisfy himself with the fact that he is, in fact, the coolest one there. Probably the coolest because of the breezy draft running through his ears.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Monkey Chimes

Everyday, as I take the E-train to Midtown Manhattan from 42nd Street, I pass by a Chinese toy store, where a mousy little septuagenarian Oriental lady holds a toy monkey playing cymbals, with a pre-recorded high treble version of that annoying Aditya Narayan song, "Chota bacha samajh ke mujhko". While this moment automatically makes me feel like I'm trapped in some sort of Asian-dubbed Groundhog Day Bootleg DVD, it also makes me contemplate a variety of different plots to assassinate said monkey toy. One day, I shall prevail.

In other news, shall be embarking on a photographic journey of NYC this weekend, and publishing the same in a photo-journal on my website. Will keep you all posted.
Random Musings

* Someone send Zidane to an Anger Management class, now. And, the French team owe me 39.40 Euro!

* I've become a keen observer of how a group of people react, when someone new walks into their conversation, speaks for a bit and then leaves. There is almost always a fleeting wierd remark about the person or a sideways smile between the rest of the members of the group.

* Doesn't N look like a paler Norah Jones in this picture? Btw, this was taken, back in her "anti-blonde" days, as she was wrapping up the intermezzo of Moonlight Sonata, blended with an unplugged version of the theme of Metallica's The Memory Remains, at her apartment. She has got to be the only person I know who could logically blend these two songs, and mellifluously blend it in with balanced 'sustain' and harmonic tuning. Salute to you, N-sharp!

* Some dark music that I delved into earlier last week (Smokey Nights at Back Room on Norfolk Street), reminded me of a piece I wrote many moons ago. And when I start saying things like "many moons ago", its a reason to scurry and leave me to myself ;-). This is Forbidden Octave.

* The Pakistan International Airlines crash last night, reminded me of the one that happened back in '89. Here's the spooky caveat that I read: "In August 1989, another PIA Fokker, with 54 people onboard, went down in northern Pakistan on a domestic flight. The plane's wreckage was never found".

On that sombre note, arrivederci.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I've discovered my motto. Its taken years, but I think I finally have it. Something that sums up what I like to do, and the way I like to live.

Ahem. Here goes.

Work hard. Play hard.

Simple. Succinct. But so true.
Tripping to the title track of Omkara, with Vishal Bharadwaj's unique operatic/Western classical touchwork on a seemingly rustic song. Watch the delicate infusion of the bass and rhythm - the build is legit.

Also, listen to Aankhon Mein Raho from the OST of Company (here). Sandeep Chowta's simple acoustic guitarwork, and Soumya Rao's mellifluous vocals. Can't believe its the same chick who crooned seductively in the club hit, 'Ghoongta'.

Music for the soul, this weekend. I'm lovin' it.
Finding the girl with the broken smile...

I FINALLY found an acoustic version of Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved. I'm so ballistically excited about this one. Its a song that I always dreamt up acoustic.

This is from a private set somewhere deep in Europe. Mad props to M for locating this one from the dark corners of seedy internet chatrooms, fighting sexual predators and frustrated (yet horny) old ladies, to bring this piece to the rest of the world.

And of course I'm going to share it with you. I'm not that cruel. Here you go.

Two things to look out for - the bass riffs as they come in, and the revival of the song, with the single bongo hit towards the middle. Absolutely Electric! Yenjoy.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Friday, July 07, 2006

















Restaurant Review: earthNYC
Chelsea Hotspot, earthNYC, transforms into boutique restaurant/lounge.

Quite like the first sin, one bite is all it takes. However, in earthNYC’s case, it’s not nearly about sin as it is about indulgence.

earthNYC, the dreamchild of Bombay-ites, Hemant and Bhavana Phul, opened its doors in 2004, and has risen to dizzying heights of popularity amongst devotees of New York City’s signature exotic nightlife. Over the years, the chic Chelsea hotspot has clearly established itself as one of the trendiest lounges in town, with its ethnic décor, dreamy interiors and celebrity-studded events. And from the summer of 2006, earthNYC takes a whole new avatar, as a boutique restaurant serving up some of the best and most authentic South East Asian/Indian cuisine.

“I’m a die-hard foodie”, admits owner and culinary director, Hemant Phul, “and I’m very adamantly particular when it comes to food. Bhavana and I love experimenting with the look and feel of various cuisines, and you’ll notice that the food is treated with a balance of artistry and flavor. I think it was that personal fascination that led to this transition”.

And the transition has been smooth and effortless, according to most EarthNYC regulars. Elements have been delicately infused into the décor, and the Phuls have been ‘auditioning’ chefs and dishes since January 2006. “Every dish on the menu has been sampled time and time again, and is a result of months of meticulous re-perfection. In my personal opinion, every element on the menu is a work of art”, adds Bhavana.

The menu reads like roll call at the United Nations, with items demarcated by country of origin. Some highlights in the appetizers include Goi Ga from Vietnam, a torn chicken and cabbage salad with garlic and lime dressing, Som Tum from Laos, a shredded green papaya and daikon blend with peanuts and garlic lime dressing and Bhindi Fry from India, featuring tangy, crispy fried okra. Some dishes such as Water Spinach, which the menu rather proudly claims to contain both dried and rotten spinach, may seem downright eccentric at first sight, give your palate a pleasant surprise, at first bite.

The variety in the entrees is balanced by relative affordability, compared to other boutique restaurants in its league. In the kitchen, a team of multi-ethnic chefs strive to create unprecedented blends between diverse styles of cooking, while retaining the characteristic identity of each cuisine. The food at earthNYC inspires a true culinary journey, with dishes like Hyderabadi Murgh or Konkani Machi, bringing out the zeal of vigor of Goa.

EarthNYC has already tantalized the taste-buds of celebrities from Bollywood and Hollywood alike, including Susan Sarandon, Nicole Richie, Manish Malhotra and Rani Mukherjee, who personally swears by the appetizers. With their exclusive delivery and catering gaining popularity, Morgan Stanley, Citibank, Merrill Lynch and Atlantic Records are amongst the many corporates who have sunk their teeth into Earth’s delectable cuisine for their private dos.

For those who are overwhelmed by the menu’s diversity, Hemant adds, “There’s a lot more coming up, as we are constantly upgrading our menu based on the appreciation and comments of our customers”. With a revolutionary new and ever-changing menu, and developing into an NYC-favorite, there are now several more reasons to “come down to Earth”.

EarthNYC, located at 116A Tenth Avenue, between 17th and 18th Streets serves dinner from 4:00 PM to 11:00 PM (Monday through Saturday) and 4:00 PM to 10:00 PM (Sundays).

For more info, visit www.earth-nyc.com or call 212.337.0016.

Reviewed by Vishal Oberoi

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ok Ok Ok. I tried to resist it, but its unbearably difficult. I have to paste the copy of this ad for "Aap Ka Suroor" in Chicago - purely because of the inherently brilliant quality of language, and the eagerness of the text. It will be funnier if the voice in your head, is Javed "Dundee Daddy" Jaffrey from Salaam Namaste.

"Why you should not miss this Concert?
Himesh Reshammiya, the Voice that rocked India is here to Rock Chicago.

Indian idol Abhijit Sawant, who won Hearts of Billions Indians is to steal yours!
Hottest Items from Zeher, Aksar performed live on stage for the first time by a very Hot Udita Goswami to light fire to your hearts!
SaReGaMa winners Himani & Vineet will perform a Medley of Hit Song's from 60's & 70's to take you down the memory Lane.
And You don't want to miss yet another Great Show by the Chicago Showman's Video Vision & Sahil. "

Wah Ustaad Wah! If you don't believe me, here's the link.
Will Ferrell Does Bush

So True. So True. SO TRUE!
"I don't see gay marriage as a slippery-slope down to people marrying snakes. I see people marrying snakes as a step 'up' the slope from gay marriage. I've got no problem with people marrying snakes-- as long as they're not marrying gay snakes. We must marry limbless reptiles of the opposite sex. Otherwise, it's just unnatural."
- Stephen Colbert

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Separated at birth?

I have undeniable proof of the fact that Mika and Himesh Reshammiya were separated at birth. No, the Medusa-haired, item-girl-kissing Jatt and the constantly-seeming-troubled-with-life and Unnecessarily-Deep Nasal Freak may not have much in common in the looks department, although I would dare Conan O'Brien to do a "What will their kids look like" segment on these two. Scary.

Anyhow, the similarity lies in their defiantly-unique singing style. Here's the proof. Muhahahahahaha.

In other news, N tells me of an awesome new flick that she caught at Tribeca, called The Great New Wonderful. Amongst other significant actors like Tony Shalhoub (Monk), Tom McCarthy, Maggie Gyllenhaal, etc., it also features Naseeruddin Shah in a rather impressive performance, with a small role by Sharat Saxena as well. Check out the trailer here, and its playing at a few indie/alternative places on the Lower East Side. If the Times review is anything to go by, as it usually is, its the lighter side of Crash, as far as post-9/11 recovery flicks go. But definitely check-outable.
"More tears are shed over answered prayers than over unanswered ones"
- Epigraph from the unfinished book, "Answered Prayers", by Truman Capote.

On the train ride to Washington D.C. recently, I completed a riveting novel, acclaimed by many to be the hallmark of the 'non-fiction' trend, which now has dedicated sections in bookstores, and in some cases, entire bookstores, to its fame. The novel was entitled "In Cold Blood", by Truman Capote, and it brought into focus for me the character that Philip Seymour Hoffman portrayed, ever so effortlessly.

Capote became, by far, America's most famous writer of the times, especially for that one book, which was preceded by "Breakfast at Tiffany's". While 'In Cold Blood' is a literary masterpiece, it was also an ethical timebomb. It brought out one of the most controversial moral issues of its time - how far does one go to fulfill his artistic dream?

The issue that the film raises, is the fact that Truman could have saved the lives of the real-life characters, the accused sociopaths with whom he had developed an understanding and deep attachment, especially with Perry Smith, whom he adored. As it was non-fiction, the story was writing itself and unfolding, in front of Capote's eyes. However, the most logical, controversial and, dare I say, "fitting" conclusion to the chilling tale, would have been the execution of the two murderers, as per the court ruling. And although Truman gained Perry's undying faith, by pretending to be his friend/confidante, he never ever intended to save him from the gallows, even though he could have, as Capote's friend and novelist, Harper Lee, points out at the end. The result? Perry and Richard were executed. Capote went on to write "In Cold Blood" and became a phenomenon, both for his writing and for the new trend of "the non-fiction novel" that he created.

He never finished another book, and died in '84 of alcoholism.

Many attribute his inability to write and severe depression, to his inner struggle between the appeal of completing his legendary book, and the characters he was trying to portray therein, and his deep bond with their real-life counterparts. The question is - who comes first?
Its a Tie!
I'm rather proud of my new acquisition. From the world of Sharper "Buy-What-You-Don't-Need" Image, I present to you, the "Tie-O-Matic" - motorized, revolving and floodlit tie rack, which rotates and lights up your closet.

Ah, what a relief! I was having so many issues hanging these lil cretins up on hangers, and then, with the silk ones falling off.

In other news, D.C. Rocks! Desis in D.C. rock too - mostly cuz they don't have a "New Jersey" next to it. ;-) No offence, Corzine.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thinks so highly of D.C., especially during the freedom celebrations.



And most importantly, would like to say a BIIIG Hi with lots of love, hugs and kisses to the sweetest grandparents in the world, Daddy and Amma. Mom told me that they frequent my blog, and that tells me that I need to go a little easy on the personal info (just kidding, Daddy). I owe a significant lot of who I am today, to the blessings, patience and upbringing of both of you, and I wanted you both to know that I miss you both - a whole WHOLE lot, and will always cherish the times I spent with you! You're the best!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Here's a classic

Phone rings in a Newspaper's Obituary Section office in Karachi.

Clerk: Obituaries. Can I help you?

Guy-on-Phone: How much to put an obituary ad?

Clerk: 50 rupees per word, sir.

Guy-on-Phone: Ok. Sochne de.

(5 minutes go by)

Guy-on-Phone: Ok. write this ..... "Razzakbhai Dead".

Clerk (a little surprised): That's it?

Guy-on-Phone: Yes!

Clerk: Sir, I should've told you this. There's a five word minimum.

Guy-on-Phone (a little pissed off): Yes you should've. Hmph.

Clerk: So...

Guy-on-Phone: Abbey, sochne de na....

(another 5 minutes go by)

Guy-on-Phone: Ok, write this.

Clerk: Tell me, sir.

Guy-on-Phone: Razzaqbhai Dead. Suzuki for sale.

Hum logon ko samajh sako to samjho dilbar jaani
Jitna humko samjhoge, utni hogi hairaani.....
Dosti jab kisi se ki jaye,
Dushmanon ki bhi rai lee jaye

(When you befriend someone, listen to the opinions of their enemies, as well)

Sudarshan Faakir's immortal words. In addition to the hyper-appreciation of inanities of Hindi Cinema and development of some lyrics of questionable integrity, got the opportunity to hit up New York City's Summerstage, with two of my catty homegirls, to catch the Balkan Beat Box performance between sets.

What I found most intriguing about their music, was the distinct Israeli influence with the 4 brass quartet, and the usage of a standard rhythm in all their tracks, which was distinctively Brooklyn. Being a major fan of the Balkan music movement, I thought that the music was rather breakbeat-ish, and very non-like the traditional marching-band association that has been built with their type of music. Have been hunting down their music ever since.

Also, much like several other protagonists, they have a distinct sound that doesn't change too significantly across their music - like their bass riffs and their percussion-style. And the best part is that it doesn't get repetitive -, it just becomes their "sound". What you come to expect of their music, especially their live sets. I found this type of structure unique to very few performers - Safri Duo, DJ Tandu, to name a few

You know which act I really wanna see, this Summerstage? Cheb I Sabbah and Riffat Sultana
Its going to be miraculous! New Yorkers, don't miss this act, and several others like Damien
Rice.

J, im looking at you for pre- and post-gaming support. Salute!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Stand clear of the closing doors ..... please

Among the sweetest things that anyone has written for me or about me, E's blog entry is way up there. :-) Rather touched that I am regarded so much - thanks! Btw - check out her blog. The most targeted and well-opined takes on Bollywood, that you can't even believe that this chica is not desi. As I always tell her, in a previous life, she probably was a demure village damsel from the far corners of India. And you know what they say about the des - you can take a (wo)man out of India, you can't take India out of a (wo)man. And don't miss the pictures of the production of Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.

In other news, I could swear that my subway attendant on the way to work yesterday was Officer Wiggum, because it sounded just like him. And anyone who can truly decipher what those subway attendants really say, deserves an award.
One of the many remarkable lines from Good Night and Good Luck.

Name me another wife who reminds her husband to take off his wedding ring before he goes to the office?

Ava Gardner.

What a subtle line, with a startling contrast to the stark portrayal of Ed Murrow's career at CBS. A must-watch!