Thursday, August 31, 2006

"This is what Sundance is really about ... I loved it" - Roger Ebert

And when Ol' Roger boy says something that powerful, its like a stamp of instant recognition. People sit up and listen. All of this for a new indie flick called Man Push Cart, about a Pakistani rock star who ends up selling coffee and doughnuts in New York City.

A few closet Indie cohorts known to me caught this flick at the festival in Venice, where it received uproarious applause and a standing ovation in Sundance. Its out at the Angelika on September 8th, and I am there.

How much do you wanna bet that the Halal on 6th Avenue guys are going to be there First Day First Show. They're celebrities now! Knowing their instinct, they'd probably set up their carts right outside the theater. "People watch cart movie. People get hungry. White soss, hot soss, brother?"

Man, they haven't made a movie about soldiers in Iraq yet, but they've made a movie about Cart Vendors in New York City. Wallah!

Catch the trailer here. (Warning: Slow to load)
Hollywood's Homecoming

India's already a hotbed for Hollywood flicks, and as if that isn't enough, there have been some very exciting happenings in both 'Woods.

* Wes Anderson and Coppola are heading to India to shoot their next flick, featuring Owen Wilson and Adrien Brody.

* Will Smith's all gung ho about making films in India, as his company, Overbrook, collaborates with Screwvala's (wonder who'll carry on his legacy?) UTV, which recently had a big stake eaten into by Disney.

* Sony Pictures picked Bhansali's Saawariya as its maiden venture.

* Pierce Brosnan's shooting his next flick in India, as well as finding an Indian chef for a desi restaurant he's planning to open in L.A.

* Peter Weir, Roth and Johnny Depp are coming together for Warner Bros' 'Shantaram', to be shot predominantly in Mumbai.

* Morgan Freeman will be shooting Moses Tate's War, in Rishikesh and Hardwar.

* Everyone knows about Michael Douglas and Aishwarya's Romancing the Stone.

* Sylvester Stallone's started the production of Rambo IV in Mumbai and Nagpur.

* India has already begun playing a significant technical role, behind the scenes of big Hollywood studio productions.

* Meanwhile, Ambani's Adlabs is geared to enter Hollywood, in collab with Amritraj.

* Our very own Sushmita Sen is all set to star in The Expat, across Richard Gere.

* Even Chunky Pandey has a Hollywood role. (Half my readers: Who?)

A major wave of collaboration, as major film and trade critics are claiming that there has never been this degree of cross-talent and cross-mergers between Hollywood and any other global film industry. I don't know about you, but I foresee a revolution. :-)
Cursive Kursees
The Miniature Chair Collection from the MOMA Store (for the uninitiated - Museum of Modern Art - a paradise of happening - where the cool come to reload on their coolness) - These little thingies are so hot. They're all about 6 inches tall, and intricately designed.

In other news, why has Fascism become the new buzzword? Negativity has plagued the GOP this year, and this kinda wordage only means that they're digging their grave for themselves, in style.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

If you come today, its too early
If you come tomorrow, its too late
You pick the time...
Tick tick tick tick tick tick
Did you say morning? No No. Its not good.
Did you say evening? No No. Its too bad.
Did you say noon? No No. Its not the time.
What did you say? Hey? What did you say? nothing? Oh its alright.
You pick the time.
Tick tick tick tick tick tick

What ineffable pearls of wisdom - captured effortlessly in this Classic Song Sequence from a legendary Rajkumar Kannada film, which I have no idea why the Academy has ignored all these years. Hallmark landscape moment in time. *sigh*. Oh the agony of anonymity that these gem has faced all these years. I take it upon myself to share it with the world!

Here you go, world!

In other news, Click here to listen to the songs from the soundtrack of Don:The Chase Begins Again (streaming).

- I love Aaj Ki Raat - its like a cross between Jawaani Jaaneman and Raat Baaqi (both from Namak Halaal)

And remember, age is a state of mind. As is, gravity (boinggggg!).

Ashes to Ashes..

Aight, she's a bombshell! Gotta admit. One of the most alluring damsels to walk the earth. Given. But "Exceptional and Outstanding Actor"? Ehh, that's pushing it, BK. What's up with Ben Kingsley? Either its premature derangement, or he's getting some big time.

In other news, I finally tried taking the NY Waterway ferry to NYC the other day, and there is no doubt that its the more civilized commute. I recommend this to everybody who both have a car and the tunnel syndrome.

P.U.C.T. of the Day: In Star Trek, Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty," but he did say, "Beam me up, Mr. Scott." Similarly, in the movie Casablanca, Rick never says "Play it again, Sam." He says: "You played it for her, you can play it for me. Play it!". Ilsa says "Play it, Sam. Play `As Time Goes By"'.
I never said P.U.C.Ts would be intelligent all the time, did I?
Black isn't just a color...

Its a statement.

An attitude.

Love it with honor. Wear it with pride.

And if you're reading this, not only are you in the upper echelon..

.. where the air is crisp ..

.. as far as IQ is concerned ..

.. but you also do not underestimate me to be stupid enough ..

.. to put up a blank post..

so .. spank you very much ..

Think Black!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My Dream

Fascinating Word Origins

Its funny that we use these phrases all the time - but here's an insight into what created them.

- The phrase "raining cats and dogs" originated in 17th Century England. During heavy downpours of rain, many of these poor animals unfortunately drowned and their bodies would be seen floating in the rain torrents that raced through the streets. The situation gave the appearance that it had literally rained "cats and dogs" and led to the current expression.

- The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

- The term "devil's advocate" comes from the Roman Catholic Church. When deciding if someone should be sainted, a devil's advocate is always appointed to give an alternative view.

- The term "honeymoon" is derived from the Babylonians who declared mead, a honey-flavored wine, the official wedding drink, stipulating that the bride's parents be required to keep the groom supplied with the drink for the month following the wedding.

- The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

- The word 'news' did not come about because it was the plural of 'new.' It came from the first letters of the words North, East, West and South. This was because information was being gathered from all different directions.

All you AmEx holders, I just discovered that IN:NYC has been giving benefits away like crazy. Intimately close concerts with Kanye West. Free Tickets to the US Open.

Although Kanye and the Open are peaced out in terms of availability- there are stil Broadway shows, movies and exquisite dinners in the offing. So sign it up, homies!

P.U.C.T. of the Day: The shortest war on record, between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896, lasted just 38 minutes.

What pussies those heads of state were? They should learn a thing or two from Bush, innit?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Pleasant Thought for the Day
No, seriously....

Its always a critical issue when a film takes itself too seriously, and this doesn't reflect effectively to the audience. Several examples of such films exist in Bollywood (almost every Sawan Kumar Tak movie ever made, and of course, Jaani Dushman).

The efficacy lies in the creation of the aura. The entire look/feel of the movie, right from the music (score and background score), cinematography, color palette and of course, the performances, should be coherent with this aura, which essentially forms the spirit of the film.

Vishal Bharadwaj has captured this, almost effortlessly, in Omkara. What most impressed me about Omkara was the flawless usage of the songs to replace and supplement the on-screen thought process. The slo-mo single-take picturization of O Saathi Re, to signify Dolly's inherent desire to capture and preserve the moments that seemed so pristine. The crispness of Laakd to signify the fading of the fabric of Omkara's relationship with his wife. Both Bipasha's numbers (Beedi and Namak) reminded one of RGV's item numbers (like Sapno mein milti hai from Satya), where the excitement and exuberance is so heightened, it literally reeks of impending doom. Like one expects the cymbals to clash, and the curtain to drop, any minute.

But then, that's the essence of Omkara. Right from the first frame, the movie moves with a suspenceful pace, and constantly leaves the viewer in fear of upcoming disaster. A classic adaptation by Vishal Bharadwaj, with brilliant characterization, emphasized further by world-class performances by every actor. And to add to that - a shockingly stark, humiliating ending which leaves one stunned.

When adapting Shakespeare, as I said in my earlier post, "To Die Upon a Kiss", the most complex factor is that the Bard over-magnified issues and emotions to help one understand them better. In the 21st century view of life, directors face the risk that these issues will seem too trivial to justify the tragic crescendo endings of his plays, and this puts all the more pressure on the adaptor to comfortably convey elements between these two diverse centuries.

Most people today would view Othello as an obsessively jealous freak, who almost willingly searched and destroyed his own and Desdemona's life.

To people who mock the Bard and think that the obsessive strangeness doesn't exist in today's world, I say that we live on a planet where stalkers capture pre-pubescent girls, abuse them and keep them under lock and key for years, ruining their childhood and adolescence, in entirety - we are not in a position to point fingers of questionability at moralities back in a century where we weren't even alive.

All in all - the End justifies the means, which justifies the challenge that Vishal Bharadwaj undertook when he conceptualized Omkara. Well, worth a watch and as for the soundtrack - many a listen.

In other news, Megan Mullaly so deserved that Emmy! And Conan's doing so much of a better job here, vis-a-vis Jon at the Oscars. Don't get me wrong - I'm much more of a Jon Stewart fan, but Conan's humor seems to have more of a Tellywood affinity, than Jon's with the Academy Awards Audience.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Happy Ganesh Chaturthi, World!

Be Blessed!

"I'm the Congressman's Right Hand"
"Well then, you must be a very busy man"
(Striptease, 1996)

Basic Instinct 2 wasn't all bad, btw. I don't know why Yahoo Movies trashed it so severely with Cs and Ds. Sharon Stone was a tad bit overcooked this time. She slipped into her earlier role like a silk negligee (slipped out of it, just as easily).

If Russell Peters would stop saying "If you know what I mean" so much, he would be funnier. Outsourced on Comedy Central started off well with his usual racial cracks, but then lost momentum severely towards the end. Hallmark achievement for a brown comedian to be up there, though.

As for the new music on the scene, its nice to see a few non-Himesh Reshammiya albums on the scene. I'm rather enthu to hear Umrao Jaan's music - I know its Anu "Oonchi hai building" Malik, but the man has had a few gems up his sleeve (Border, Refugee) and they have specifically been for JPDutta movies.

Also, Bas Ek Pal has a few interesting tracks, especially Dheemey Dheemey (Sunidhi, KK) which stands out as a really complete and exceptional number. Tere Bin is a beautifully composed song, but one is severely put off by Atif Aslam's vocals on it. Pritam's other venture, Woh Lamhe, is ridiculously overzealous. And Illayaraja fans like moi would have preferred if he left Shiva in its native language/s. Hearing Shweta Pandit go "Police Police Chor Police" doesn't really work.

In other news, is it just me or are airlines going ballistic these days? There are airline stories everywhere for the past week, there have been paranoid flight diversions, air marshals going buck wild, dynamite in student's bags, and as of today, another crash. Im telling you, people. Start using Amtrak. At least you're at ground level.

P.U.C.T of the day: Every year, $1.5 billion is spent on pet food. This is four times the amount spent on baby food.
- As I always say, people. Have pets, not kids. As you can see, people around the world are purposefully feeding their pets, and starving their kids, out of sheer frustration. So spare the rod, entirely.
With One Hand? He has GOT to be single.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

God's Own Country

Kerala. Cruising the backwaters. This is something I definitely want to do sometime soon, potentially in '07.

Everytime I think about Kerala, what immediately comes to mind is the sequence in Roja (Chinna Chinna Aasai/Dil Hai Chota Sa) with the fisherman and A R Rahman's distant incoherent vocals.

Incredible India/Visa have this awesome all-inclusive deal for 10 nights in Kerala, and it is as tempting as hot idlis soaked in sambar for breakfast right now. (That's the South Indian in me talking. His name's Venkateshwaran, and Immigration doesn't like him either).

In other news, song of the day - "Woke Up This Morning" by Leonard Cohen (Theme from "The Sopranos").

PUCT of the Day: The world's smallest independent state is the Vatican City, with a population of about 1,000 - and a zero birthrate.
- Man, talk about celebrated celibacy. Vatican City scares me. I feel that one day, they're all going to say, "we've had it", pop the hood and start going at it like bunnies on the streets. An orgy of cloaked monks and nuns all over the place. Sounds like a cross between a Benetton ad and a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Few films ...

... have had the finesse and quiet elegance of Lamhe. I still consider this to be one of Bollywood's most consummate cinematic attempts, and although it wasn't a commercial success, its a film I hold really close to my heart. Had the pleasure of re-watching it a few weeks ago, and it was an experience.

A lot of people (read:neanderthals) say my blog isn't educational enough. Now, I use big words like neanderthals, and I consider that an education for both myself and others.

Nevertheless! In defiant retaliation (read:Dutch courage), I would like to launch a new section on Revolution Evolution. A factoid tag to end all my future posts for the next month, which I would like to call "P.U.C.Ts", which stands for P.U. Chunks of Trivia, the first initials standing in commemoration (read:*grin*hmpft) of a school teacher and quiz grillmaster who broiled brains for a living, and made trivia a very non-trivial and controversial part of 4 individual lives - back me up on this one, P. (Complete name of P.U. hidden in fear of author being googled, hunted down and forcible made to marry her first-born - aaargh! nooo! happy thoughts! happy place!)

So here goes! Smile for the camera...

PUCT of the Day: The only lizard that has a voice is the Gecko. Isn't that roit, mate?

(Also, PUCT stands for Public Utility Commission of Texas. Doh! I will now be sued by a bunch of effeminate Cowboy Plumbers. The kind who know how to wrench their monkey, and who coyishly stare at toilets going "I wish I could fix you").

In other news, check out the music montage sampler of Don: The Chase Begins ... Again. Hot stuff! I loved Yeh Mera Dil and the original, Aaj Ki Raat - great vocals by Mahalaxmi (as mom said, very unlike her usual style). Khaike is legit!

Good weekend!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Highlight images of the year, so far... (courtesy: *ahem ahem*)

Have you ever...

pictured Armageddon? The events that would lead up to it. Speculation. News stations going ballistic. Theories. Concepts.

And then, Resolution. Certainty. Knowing that the inevitable is now hours ... minutes away.

Everything would come into perspective.

First, chaos. Then acceptance. The sine curves of reality. There'd be mass looting and shooting. Frustration would heighten to high heavens. And then, attitudes would placate. The vision of eternal nothingness will finally sink in.

The media would cease to air. Turn on the TV to a blank screen, or a logo shot saying "Be brave!".

Nowhere to turn to. All the petty fights, the squabbles, the ego hassles - everything diminishing into minimal nothingness. Items of immense value that your life revolved around, things you saved up for, for years, now become mere obstructions as you try to run outside.

Run where? Run how far? Run to whom? You're all in the same boat. As if the world's the Titanic.

Fear would merge into vengeance and loathing for one's destiny. Reversals of belief, as atheists will double-click on "Pick a religion, any religion" - as if its their last hope - in an attempt to quickly salvage the remnant drops of salvation from a dripping drought-ridden tap. There'd be longer lines outside the churches of Manhattan - than there ever were outside any club on any given Saturday Night. There'd be bouts of deja vu. You would hang on to those thoughts for dear life, like a distraught branch in the flood of circumstance, because you wouldn't know where they would all disappear to, soon. Those memories. Where would they all go? Those emotions. Where will they all settle, when its ALL gone? The feel of being home, the scent of the first rain, the comfort of your mother's care, your first crush, that first kiss. Would it all be stored in some giga-tera-byte archival hard drive in the universal CPU? Puns wouldn't be as funny anymore, as the clock ticks by. A sense of humor wouldn't be appreciated as much. Subway shelters would crowd like Black Holes of Calcutta. Hiding from what? Hiding from WHAT?

Those last few things on your mind before you 'knew', would lose their inherent value. Their very existence would make you cringe. The 3 million dollar deal you just closed. The 10 pounds you need to lose. Your life savings - and the fact that you can't take it with you. Each thought would be a stark and painful reminder of the gifted present, and the soon-to-be the ever-distant past.
The past? That's what it will be now, won't it. The forgotten past.

The class system would fall apart like a pack of cards, as Maugham's words would hold true. kings would dine with paupers. CEOs with doormen. Celebrities would walk the streets without bodyguards and entourages, amongst mere mortals, and still no one would care. People would begin to do their last few acts of goodwill - free food, clothing, heat, advice, preaching - as they try to speedwash their years of sin away, and book their suites in heaven. Heaven? a make-believe paradise of white gowns and clouds that we have created in our heads.

People would try to do all those things that they said they would do when they had one day to live, but memory would fail them. Where's Outlook when you need it.

Your internal quarrels with faith, and your unwanted acceptance of fate. The misery of it all.

Faith. Fate. So similar, yet so different.

The horizon now seems like a mirage.

As the minutes dissolve into seconds...

Eyes will shut tight.

Your thoughts will distance as strangers to your psyche.

Childhood memories will bid you goodbye, in slow motion.

Emotions would surface. Subside. Then re-surface.

Reluctant tears will well up.

Embraces would give last-minute strength.

Teeth will be grit, faces will flinch in terror of the unknown.

Foreign, unknown hands would enclasp each other.

And then a voice would say...

"Tanqueray on the rocks - splash of tonic? Here you go, sir".

The curious thoughts that one has while waiting for a drink.

We're not a planet anymore, Pluto :-(

As astronomy books across the world prepare to change and so-called planets are stripped off their planetage, it makes one wonder - who are we to make that decision? Guidelines and analysis. Yeah, right. Our basic foundation of creation/evolution is under thought/theory.

Talking of planets, before you go running out with binoculars or a telescope on Aug 27th yelling "Eureka! Its Mars", sorry to burst your Hubble, read up.

In other news, I am now the proud bearer of an International Driving Permit, and can legally drive in over 150 countries. I like the sound of that. And contrary to the DMV, the AAA is by far the most streamlined automobile-related organization ever. I got the IDP in 6.5 minutes flat of walking into their facility. Cost me all of 10 bucks, copy of my US license and 2 passport photographs. Isn't that amazing? I recommend this to travelers, highly. The DMV should take a hint from these dudes. Oh god, how I hate them. Let me count the ways.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

the dark side of the moon

unseen, yet conceivable. a Cimmerian flame which inspirits the ironies of our actuality. for what is ... may not necessarily ... be ... resembles "truth", doesn't it ?

Mindfields - the craven may retreat. this is the ranch of the dauntless spirit. the ONE who fears not even oneself. abode of the ONE whom death cannot dare.

it exists at the zenith of the paradise of everyone's free expressionism. the point of no return ... a universe in itself . a dark yet illuminated, psychotic realm where the soul is free to imagine and dream, without bounds. a world to be experienced once, and ONLY once you leave the dominion of suspended reality and pretence ....

remember "you'll never know its a dream, until you wake up". and awakening shatters the very clairvoyance of the vision, itself. and the wheel thus spins on till eternity ... can you do something about it ? although i warn you.

the truth is macabre, never foretell it, and the facts are overwhelming, never interpret them, surrender to the infernal illusions, and you have a contingency of perceiving your true identity in this multiverse.

its all about 'mindspeak'. the ambience is muted. the free soul talks. and each word sears through the conscience, sparks the cells of fantasy and authors a conflagration to propel the truth to its righteous (albeit unmerciful) heights. a fire of consummate desire. the inferno RAGES till the evil sands of time, and the immoral windmills of destiny extinguish its passion.

but the illusions of the inferno prevail. they live to tell the truth to whichever soul who dares to dream them. they encompass both the vehement energy spewed by the dynamos of the mind in their relentless quest to break free, and the tranquil, rhetoric introspections of the heart.the apparition, the anima fades into oblivion ... but the memory, forever, REMAINS.

Thus, is life .

Thus, is truth .

unpredictable .

uncontrollable .

impalpable .

imperceptible .

i n f e r n a l i l l u s i o n s

In aankhon ki masti....

The legendary courtesan's tale, immortalized by the combined talents of Khayyam, Rekha and Muzzafar Ali.

This time around, its J. P. Dutta, Anu Malik and Aishwarya.

The 1981 classic was a hallmark film for Indian cinema for superlative performances, music and uber-delicate screenplay, and its to be seen whether this movie lives up to its predecessor's legacy.

Its as good as remaking Sholay. And its not a wonder that no one has had the courage (or audacity) to take up this gargantuan task of a remake. The chances of flack are always greater than the chances of glory - because half the film community writes the film off before it evens hits the floors.

Anyhow, its Aishwarya, people. All I can say is ... haye.... (translation: *sigh*)

In other news, if KANK inspired homicidal intent, can I prepare my deathwish post-Krrishh? Grrrrr!
I've heard of "life imitates art"

But this s***t is whack! Say what?

In other news, if anyone has more info about NWA Flight 42, do shout out, 'cuz I really wanna know what those desiboys were upto.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Big G

Happy with the creativity of the blogomunity (that's so Colbert) that reads Revolution Evolution, who inundated my e-mail box and crucified my instant messenger, to Cry Havoc! I got some rather interesting responses to the color puzzle, unfortunately none of them were right.

(1) Last 6 M&Ms before she shoots herself (Based on a dark movie that never released)
(2) Colors of undergarments of his last 6 conquests
(3) Colors I will turn when I find out she is pregnant with my kid.

But my favorite:
- America's terror alerts on a good week. (ridiculous, M!)

However, the answer is far more obvious than most of you thought it is. Kudos to the unnamed New Yorker, J and B for getting this one right.

In other news, as Labor Day approaches, and marks the pre-decided transition of summer into fall, I am proud to admit that I lived it up in '06.

Beyond working my ass off and getting used to my new assignment with C, I think I was quite successful in balancing out some major fun experiences.

My report card (May - August)

(1) Shakespeare in the Park [check]
(2) Movies at Bryant [check]
(3) The River-to-River Music Festival [check]
(4) Amateur Night at the Apollo [check]
(5) Underground Jazz Festivals [check]
(6) Experimental Movies in the Village [check]
(7) The Beach [check] (Jones and Sheepshead. Did someone say Coney? Say Wha?)
(8) Pooh-poohing @ the Hamptons [check]
(9) Doing Cubans @ SoBe, Miami [check]
(10) Singapore [check]
(11) The mandatory New York Lounges/New Fooderies/Club Circuit [check]
(12) Caught Off-Broadway - Stomp! [check]
(13) Experienced Cheb-I-Sabbah at Summerstage! [check]
(14) Got my license [check]
(14) Rented a convertible, drove up to Adirondacks with my buds and unwinded @ Lake Placid [check]
(15) Grooved to TranceNation, and clubhopped like a wild rabbit on steroids. [check]
(16) Lost my shirt at Mohegan Sun ( literally! ;-) ) & did 18 holes at Foxwoods [check]

I know I'm missing out a lot of wild things and trips that I did, purely cuz I don't remember 'em, and that's a good place to be at. You know what, most of us probably have another 20 odd usable summers left in life altogether. So for those who lived it up, wtg. Those who didn't, there's always Fall :-)

Btw, its Google

What is the significance of the above color code?

Its not GMAT. Its not MENSA. Its just simple observation of a near-everyday activity.

E-mail me your answers here.
Eve Dropping!

Journalist Sonia "Eve" Faleiro seems to have done an interesting job with conversational round-up at the Omkara Press Conference, similar to the blog, Overheard in New York. Fascinating read, hers.

In other news, Sandisk can huff and puff, but it can blow the coolness of Apple's uber-chic IPod. First of all, its the name. SanDisk? So what if it stores twice the songs that the Nano does, it still sounds like a Japanese 3.5". However, stock seems to have predictably changed tides for both firms, when the news came out, but my spidey senses detect this to be an initial rumble. Will settle soon, not to worry, my loyal Macvestors.

Talking of Mackintosh, I crave Quality Street. My favorite was the yellow one with the chewy caramel. Wiki informs me that Quality Street was the favorite chocolate of ex-Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein. Gulp!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Rolling with the Times

To those who say that I am obsessed with KANK, I say .. maybe, but its never enough. Ok, people, last one, I promise. This is the New York Times review of KANK, which has been declared the most successful Bollywood release in America ever. Nice to get a gora viewpoint of the melancholic melange of mayhem that is KANK.

'Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna,' a Bollywood Divorce Tale
Published: August 12, 2006

A French version would have a lot more sex and cigarette smoking. An American one would probably end with a letter opener in someone's back. But only in Bollywood would the standard-issue marital-infidelity tale include disco-style musical numbers and clockin at almost three and a half hours.That is what the director Karan Johar serves up in "Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna" ("Never Say Goodbye"), a giant-size love story that aspires to be "Gone With the Wind" but without the Civil War. It is full of big Bollywood stars and outsized everything: the rainstorms are a little rainier than real life; the wind machines are cranked up an extra notch; the close-ups get closer and linger longer than usual; the coincidences that drive the plot are a little more numerous and unlikely than normal screenwriting allows. And those song-and-dance extravaganzas!

For something so silly and so long, however, the film is surprisingly engaging, thanks largely to its very watchable actors; it's easy to see why they are international stars in the world of Hindi films. And the movie is a clear departure from the genre's usual happily-ever-after. If the marriage isn't working, it says unmistakably, divorce is the answer. Shah Rukh Khan plays Dev, a rising soccer star who suffers a career-ending injury. He is unhappily married to Rhea (Preity Zinta) but meets the lovely Maya (Rani Mukherji), an ice princess whose husband (Abhishek Bachchan, son of the Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan) can never quite manage to defrost her. Soon Dev is lovestruck, and who can blame him: Ms. Mukherji's eye makeup, which we get to observe in detail, is much better than Ms. Zinta's. The story takes place largely in New York, whose native inhabitants are often turned into buffoons by Mr. Johar, payback, perhaps, for Hollywood depictions of foreigners over the last century.

The director actually displays a fine comic touch in a series of ridiculous scenes: at a kiddie soccer match, in a bed store, at the opera. And there is some droll banter between Mr. Bachchan and his father, Amitabh, who plays the same familial role in the film. The movie's humor is deft enough to make you wonder why Mr. Johar's cinematic eye seems stuck in the land of Playboy videos, shampoo commercials and early MTV. But those looking for subtlety and sophistication should not have wandered into this film in the first place. As for the story's central lovers, it's never quite clear what Maya sees in Dev, whose emotional switch has only two settings, angry and morose. Perhaps that eye makeup is clouding her vision.
Cinema Paradiso

As the euphoria dies, (must admit, a little sooner than expected) here's the best KANK review out there. Thanks for connecting me to Fonzster, o mysterious princess.

In other news, 4 years in the US, yesterday, pour moi - seems like an eternity!

And a big birthday shout out to B! Live it up!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Arrested Development

Hadh se badhne laga,
Zulm ka silsila
Dil nahin lag raha
Dil nahin lag raha

- Junoon (Azaadi)

This song caught me by many a surprise when I first heard Azadi, because it had a slow swing beat - very unlike the rest of the Paki-rock songs that Junoon is famous for.

Its the next two lines of this track that are intricately written

Sheher mein jo mere, jitne bhi yaar hain,
Sab giraftaar hain, Sab giraftaar hain,
Kisko maaloom ho, kaun ho kab riha,
Dil nahin lag raha, Dil nahin lag raha

At first instinct, knowing Junoon as a faction of musical riot, you would think, all his friends in the city are arrested for some kind of incendiary actions, and do not know when they will get out.
But look at the other perspective, that his friends are imprisoned by routine, schedule, careers and life in general, without a clue as to whether they will be free of it or not.


Dil to hai tanha,
yeh soche ke bahaar aayegi
Dil to hai naadaan,
yeh soche ke bahaar aayegi

Khoee wafaaon ke sapno ki bahaar aayegi

Here's a sneak peek into Tanha (The Saxophone Rebellion Mix)

In other news, a few songs on the Bollywood front.
  • The "Main Hoon Don" Remix - you can't hear this entirely yet, although you can get a sneak preview at - its lethal.
  • Jaane Kya by Zubin Garg (OST-Pyaar ke Side Effects) - if you can ignore the annoying "Feeling Blue" english interlude, this song is really nice. I love the sarangi interludes, and especially the way Zubin has sung it, Pritam the Plagiarist gives this a very old-school-Rahman feel (lets hope some Kannada college band doesn't come out of the woods claiming this to be their's) - Zubin is definitely going to be a force to reckon with, very soon, and its about time someone gave Reshammiya a run for his easy millions.
  • Laakd from Omkara. The more I hear this song, the more I fall in love with. I definitely call Omkara, the soundtrack of 2006. Totally Clutch!
  • Ae Dil-E-Nadaan and Khoobsurat from Sowmya. Fascinated by her voice since Aankhon mein raho (Company). Dil-E-Nadaan is an interesting introspective spin on the classic Lata Mangeshkar track, and I think the atypical chords are very curious. Khoobsurat is a Sandeep Chowta original. Nuff said.
What is mobile number?

Funny how common its become, asking someone for their cell number. Belonging to the era where there was life before cellphones (damn! getting old, people!), it used to be a big thing to have one. As much of a wonder as it was to have one back in the day, it would be more of a shocker if someone doesn't have one today. And the early ones were huge - nearly walkie talkies. But now, small is the new big, I guess. Well, in most cases, at least.

According to Deloitte & Touche, there are 2 billion cell phone subscribers in the world. (2006)

In other news, paranoia is a cheap thrill in today's world. Shockingly easy how simple it is to stall thousands of lives and irk millions of minds, by a threat, capitalizing on the potential of paranoia. Living in fear is a dangerous thing, and no one knows that better than New Yorkers who still shudder each time a plane grinds the air in Lower Manhattan. Well, at least there's no shortage of places to numb the pain.
Pritam .. aan milo?

Vishesh pointed me to this interesting factoid, about Zubeen Garg's Ya Ali being copied by an Arabic song by a Kuwaiti band. Get the skinny here, and he also has the links to both the songs at the end. Where does he get these? I wasn't even half as net savvy as he was, at his age. Oh wait ... there was no internet .. (ominous silence)... There was a world before the internet? Damn.

In other news, thanks for the e-mails on the KANK review. I tried to let it down easy.
Funny (Actual) Headlines of 2005 (with subtitles)

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[ dirty guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[ hard from 6 feet underground, hey?]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Wow! I would not have thought so rational]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[.... tasted like chocolate and bubblegum ]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[unbelievable! - who resurrected them?]

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!

Talking of colorful people, New Yorkers looking for desi flava must catch the India Independence Day Parade across Madison from 45th all the way down to 23rd, this Sunday. And the afterparty at Crobar. Don't do Deep - I know its the official one, but way too many Jersey thugs. The Sax bash at Crobar is well worth the extra $$.

In other news, if you ever want to understanding track layering, and how best to induce elements into a track, listen to Karawane by Ayla. Best heard on a pair of Shure E3s (ooh la la).

Friday, August 18, 2006

Ok people. Here’s a warning that a lot of you have been asking me for, for a while, so here goes:

***Warning: KANK Spoilers Ahead***

What goes to make a Karan Johar film, a Karan Johar film? There’s the colors, the emotions, the song, the dance, the ‘cool’ factor, or rather the “wannabe cool” factor. (You know .. the one that Dil Chahta Hai achieved with flying colors, and the one that K3G and KHNH tried so hard but didn’t get even close to).

From the directorial point of view, there’s a few things that Karan seems to adore:

(1) The whoosh, fade through white touch, between different camera angle shots.

(2) Those profound lines that don’t mean too much, but carry gravitational intensity – a la “Mera pehla pyaar adhoora reh gaya, Riffat bi”.

(3) The delicate usage of the instrumental versions of songs in the background score.

But given the safe-house chocolateyness that made Karan Johar films so rainbowish, he re-surfaces with KANK.

To those who haven’t seen it, Don’t view KANK with the hype-tinted glasses that the world does. Don’t view KANK with the expectations of a Karan Johar film, with the anticipation associated with India’s largest casting coup. KANK’s biggest fear factor is the wave of enthusiasm that might cause it to be swept away by many, and not viewed as the emotional juggernaut that it truly is.

I would have to admit that KANK is, by far, one of Karan’s most “real” movies. Real because the characters are weak. Not in portrayal, but in essence; in character itself. In the past, he has always tried to portray people as larger than life – overtly gregarious, overtly rich, overtly happy – but this time, he makes an effort to make them seem rather … susceptible – to the innate power of circumstance.

The first scene that struck me was Shah Rukh’s accident – the starkness of it all. The vertically receding angle, his expression. Nicely done. Although I felt that the immediate contrast of how he has turned ‘mean’ because of his injury was sudden, but you know how Karan likes it in your face (pun severely intended).

Amitabh was the legend that he has always been – a tad bit over the top, but I can’t imagine anyone else in his age group, pulling off Sexy Sam, with the panache that he did. His relationship with Abhishek, was perhaps one of the most subtle father-son portrayals I have seen, which was brilliant. Rani was truly eye-caressing. Preity was barely tolerable.

I’m glad that the characters were centralized. They made the film what it is. Its usually a Dharma habit to throw in a bunch of nonsensical characters for comic appeal – like I was expecting a gay Sardar to bounce onto the screen, or a giggly gaggle of aunties straight out of Geriatric Park – but Karan was on a different track.

It is the “weakness” of his characters that comes across as surprising. You would notice that for the first time, a major film has highlighted more on the negatives of characters, than their positives.

Shah Rukh’s anger.

Preity’s resilience.

Rani’s pessimism.

Abhishek’s insecurity.

It is only once you sink your teeth into the meatiness of these characters, that you begin to experience where the film is coming from. Karan chooses the backdrop of New York City (and at times Philly), which has come to be recognized as a city that makes you ensconced by the most temporary of things.

But the key factor is that Abhishek stole Shah Rukh’s Thunder to the capital T, with sullen simplicity, and sheer “coolness”. Its probably because King Khan has got a personality that insists upon itself now. Could this be the beginning of the end of SRK? Who knows.

I loved the lack of resolution. The reality of the reactions. The fact that Amitabh’s death scene didn’t take an hour. The constant ricocheting of the film’s center of gravity, without losing soul. And what I truly, truly adored was the incoherence of who truly deserves the audiences’ sympathy or empathy at the end. In the turmoil of emotions that makes KANK, there is no guilty or innocent, no right or wrong.

Perhaps this is where critics were coming from, when they compared KANK to Closer. I see it now. Closer never resolved. And although KANK closes with the seemingly typical “Bollywood” resolution – the bittersweetness is what makes it different.

Do I think KANK is a phenomenon? Definitely not. But it has enough fire power to be an outstanding success, and enough mettle and diversity to be classified as a trendsetter.


(1) The rain sequence where Rani litters, and Shah Rukh protests, outlining the role reversal. Reminded me of the scene where Kajol and Shah Rukh try to do their high school special hand-shake when they meet again in K2H2.

(2) The Amitabh-Abhishek jiggy in “Rock N Roll Soniye”

(3) The “Hi Rhea!” sequence where both Rani and Preity walk towards Shah Rukh. Brilliantly handled.

(4) One word: Kajol.

(5) The "I like Blue" sequence. Touching.

The picturization of Tumhi Dekho Naa, taking so much from the picturization of Pachai Nirame from Alai Payuthey - or rather for all you non-South Indians - the title track of Saathiya - was fairly decent, but the concept wasn't subtle enough like the rest of the film. Rani lived her role, except in the scene where Amitabh finds out and Rani is fumbling in the kitchen - that was awfully amateur. Shah Rukh and Rani kissing for the first time was missing passion the way Jain food misses spice - although their simple love scene later was elegantly done.

More Weak points? Right from the length to overcooking, too many for me to start with, and I think that everyone and their mother have covered most of them. The reason I’m not delving into them is because people need to view KANK for what it is – a film about the pursuit of selfish happiness, by a bunch of realistic, selfish and emotionally fragile 21st century-ites. The reason I’m not delving into them is because I could never say how anyone could’ve done it better or worse.

KANK stays within the confines of Bollywood, as much as it oversteps the lines, and that’s where it saves itself. I wouldn't be as kiss-ass as Taran Adarsh to say that KANK is 'bold'. I think films like Satya, Company and Page 3 are bold because they face stark reality, head-on - KANK explores the ongoing and eternal battle between the institution of marriage and the unpredictability of emotions - a challenge well-taken, but hardly bold. I don't think there is boldness in staring at yourself in the mirror and thinking twice about whether you're really living for yourself or someone else, asking yourself what you truly want, and whether you're truly happy. And that's what KANK does - it hands you that mirror.

In other news, ER - Nikhila was an absolute, ABSOLUTE doll! What a stunner! In that simple short’n’sweet role, she caught more Awwws than any other sequence in the movie. Bollywood calling!

so KANK doesn't tank..

Hmm. So Karan Johar's new Magnolia Opus is historically declared the biggest Bollywood opener ever in the overseas market, raking in a cool 13.75 crores in just 3 days in US, UK and Australia combined, which has certain film critics wetting their pants in excitement. Shockingly simple business model - all you need is money and hype and more money. Can't speak much since I haven't seen it, but the lord knows I want to.

Also, noteworthy, is to welcome my lil bro, Vishesh, to the blogging community, and his own website, even. (Any similarities to other sibling's websites/blogs are purely coincidental. No, really). Welcome aboard, your highness!

In other news, spent most of yesterday arguing with B and the team about the idea of the Google stock split, which is probably the only sensible solution to generate economies of scale. With the fear of saturation and if GS Stock Indicators are anything to go by, I think its common consensus that voluminous demand will only be good foresight. Sez you.

And remember, if you have a Dell laptop and a faulty battery, go here. If that doesn't help, go here.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Till Death do us ....

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.

Kinda redundant, no?

Vive Cuervo!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ponnuru Ponders...

Caught interviews of National Review columnist, Ramesh Ponnuru, on both the Daily Show and Colbert. I find his viewpoints on embryonic stem-cell research and pro-life, while condemning the Donkey-Dees as the "Party of Death", to be rather curious. Its obvious to see someone from a visibly conservative background speak on pro-life, but I think that Ponnuru does it with simple panache.

In other news, sad to see that a burping (and potentially stoned) britney makes it onto CNN's Headline News, these days. Doesn't help her non-existent image now, does it? But seriously, this one doesn't hurt me as much as hearing Elisha Cuthbert on XM, saying that she thought Beirut is in India. Now that knocked her on her 'atlas'.
Know Your Terrorist

Surprising how much PR these guys get. More than documentaries like "In the footsteps of Bin Laden", the celebrity status that these extremists have received in the last few years is demi-god-like. All that they need is a customer service help-line, and they're all set. "For ammunition supplies, press 1. For a Jihad refresher course, press 2"

In other news, I love the new Jetta safety ads. The dark silence at the end, during the offer screens, is chilling, but effective. Are you listening, Dr. Z? For lighter commercials, don't miss the "Funniest Commercials of 2005" with Kevin Nealon on TBS.

Wikky offered me a greater understanding of the Sepoy Mutiny and the events that led to our rebellion for Independence. Truly one of the most inspiring struggles in human/world history, and we should all be proud that thousands of devoted souls fought for the right for us to wear our independence pride today, instead of being under the crown like the rest of lads down under ;-) Not that I have anything against them 'roos - after all, a nation that brought us Fosters and Yellow Tail, can't be all bad, no?

Stand tall! Be proud, mah homies!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Dirty Mouth?

Cads! Fiends! How could they do that to the poor dear? :-(

In other news, whatever happened to the winners of the Mastercard "write your own priceless ad" campaign? I was waiting to see what people came up with.

Seriously speeching...

I get into trouble because of my unconventional (a.k.a retarded) way of wording things sometimes. It all began this morning, when I shot off an approval mail to Lynn at Ops regarding a new policy she was trying to put into effect, and she sent me a mail saying that she hadn't received it, and also asked me what I thought of the policy.

So, I shoot her a mail, saying that I resent it (as in "phirse bheja"). She took it as that I resent her policy (as in dislike). Here's the summary of the series of mails.

L: So what'd you think?
V: I resent it. (casual)
L: Why?
V: Because you asked for it. (surprised)
L: That bad, huh?
V: Ok, just cuz you got a policy approved by Legal, you don't have to start fishing for compliments. (sarcy)
L: Wow, if that's your compliment style, I would hate to get insulted by you.
V: But, I haven't even got started yet. (startled)
L: But what do you have against the policy? Does everyone in Marketing think that Ops are bottom feeders?
V: ? (confused)
L: Do you guys feel you're on top of the corporate food chain now, throwing little guppies to us, when you feel the fancy?
V: ?? (befuddled)
L: I hate this. We're the ones who do all the work. You just make the world aware of it. And ... and .... wait .... your e-mail says you approved it!
V: This is correct (totally baffled)
L: Then why did you say you resent it?
V: (moment of zen)

Sometimes, it takes one verbal typo, to start a flame session. But alas, the Marketing-Ops war continues. That's interesting. Its nice to see the bottom feeders do some efficient work for a change, even if its anti-establishment. Muhahahaha.

In other news, Jill Carroll's story is an exceptional one.

Monday, August 14, 2006


How diverse can New York get? It amazes me at times. Doing lunch at a Turkmenistani place today. Leave alone the cuisine, I couldn't even find that place on a map. Although the cuisine has the dryness of Afghan food, but incorporates spices from Eastern Europe (hollandaise) and a lot of Turkish influence as well.

Just a thought - do you think people in Japan get freaked out by American horror movies, as much?

In other news, Hedonism Week Awards will be posted shortly, as will a review of KANK, which I shall catch this evening.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Ishwar Allah, tere jahaan main, nafrat kyun hai, jung hai kyun?
Tera dil to itna bada hai, insaan ka dil tang hai kyun?

Kadam kadam par sarhad kyun hai,
Saari zameen jo teri hai,
Suraj ke phere karti hai,
Phir kyun itni andheri hai,
Dil ke darwaazon par taale,
Taalon par yeh zang hai kyun.

Ishwar Allah, tere jahaan main, nafrat kyun hai, jung hai kyun?
Tera dil to itna bada hai, insaan ka dil tang hai kyun?

- Javed Akhtar, A R Rahman, Deepa Mehta (OST-1947 Earth)
RelationSHIPS that didn't set sail.

Aight, so sKANK didn't happen, this weekend. Will catch it during the early week. Abstinence from this mega-hyped movie has been possible due to collective negative opinion from sources from here and home.

Talking of home, I finally did a BicyTaxi ride, recently, and struck an interesting conversation with the cyclist, Hussain from Turkey - An Industrial Engineering student from Ankara, on summer vacation, provided with boarding and lodging by the association, and earning a cut of daily earnings to sightsee in NYC. Why does he do it? To meet new people, he tells me. I asked him if he'll ever settle down here in the US. The categorical answer? No. Why?

His answer made me think substantially.

He said, because it'll never be home.

A sentiment that I resemble. But it also makes you wonder - what is home? At a younger age, it was a zone where we felt safe. But today, is there such a place? At the end of the day, home is where you call it. At the back of the taxicab, on your way home from clubbing. At a rented apartment after a long day of work. At your friend's place, where he/she serves you hot coffee and solace after a fight with your significant other. At a sunset on a beach, far far away.

If home, like every other aspect of life, can be considered temporary - a haven that provides you with comfort and satisfaction from time to time - that would fuel the sustenance of a nomadic lifestyle.

In other news, Hedonism Week came to a glorious end on Friday, with Katra. Many thanks to my partners in wine, Nicole, Jen, Jonas, Chevy, Eric, Tracy (Cosa Nostro), Didi, Vinit, Amit, Michelle, Mel 'n' Nal, Shalini, Droofus and Rembrandt. And of course, that sizzlin' Uzbek waitress at Avalon who started throwing thongs out at everybody, when the Sisqo remix came on.

Trance re-discovered after a heady session of trance-grass and club-hopping during the week. I realized that the rulers of my trance-world remain the same. For progressive, deep, house, techno and ambient, it would have to be Darude, ATB, Tiesto, Tandu (Ayla), Oakenfold and Paul Van Dyk. And for percussive, there's just Safri Duo, and ATB's mixes of them. For collections - three words for you - Ministry of Sound.

Till the beat stops, people.

Saturday, August 12, 2006


Usually, we end up needing what we can get, and wanting what we can never have. I think its hilarious the way life is structured. The way our basic necessities have been creatively modified, and how intricately the "class" system has found its way into everything.

Food. Basically a need for sustenance, but now tiered into high-end restaurant chains right down to trashy drive-thrus.

Clothing. Basically a need to cover nakedness, but now tiered into designers right down to bargain basements.

Drink. Basically a need for nourishment, but now tiered into top-shelf right down to canned sodas.

Entertainment. Basically a need to prevent boredom, but now one can drop big-Gs for bottle service at clubs; front row seats to a rock concert, right down to discount peanut gallery seats on Off-Broadway rejects.

Transportation: Basically a need to move from place to place, since the invention of the wheel, but now tiered right from First Class or Luxury Vehicles, right down to Coach and Compacts.

There's a classification for everything, today. Pretty soon, we'll have this in religion as well. The Cool Gods, whose followings are esoteric. The kind that you need to be 25 and over, and dressed to impress, in order to be worthy of worship. Upgrades available.

I've concluded that there are three kinds of things in life - Things you want, Things you need and IPods.

In other news, expect a review of sKANK, later tonite.

And remember, a friend in need, is no friend of mine.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Don. I adore the look. Gotta give that to Monsieur Akhtar. He gets the look and feel right, although he falters in the screenplay department, at times.

In other news, tonight, this is Drinks and Dinner.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Now that the world's wide awake to the onset of terror, its commendable to see the level of interception of fanatical network activities, by the authorities. As much as we cringe at the thought of detailed airport security searches, and even for that matter, racial profiling during these searches, its no more an issue of convenience, its now a matter of lives and deaths.

However, I have more praise for the work of New Scotland Yard in this developing story, than for the boys at DHS, who are too busy changing national terror color codes to match the M&Ms that they're hogging on.

In other news,
Q) What is Karan Johar's primary preference when buying a house?
A) Closet space.

And remember, what can't kill you, is definitely not poisonous enough.
Sliding Doors

Yes, I'm back on the elevator etiquette topic again. I don't know why, but this facet of daily vertical commuting fascinates me.

Probably because its the most awkward social situation in the world. You could be chatting up a storm with your friend/colleague, but it all goes down when you enter .... the elevator (ominous gong). Awkward silence prevails.

Of course, there are a few of those jolly ranchers around, who walk in whistling a tune, throwing out a quick "hello" or "cute baby", to be responded by the chagrin-filled combination of squinting of the eyes, fake smile and nod of the head (try it at home, people, squint-fake-nod! yay, well done!).

Then of course there's the guy who hits the wrong floor. Oh god! As Chandler would say, could you BE more retarded? This is clear blasphemy, everyone. Now there are two situations. If he/she hits a floor lower than his/her floor, by mistake, which affects HIM/HER and has them staying a few seconds longer in ... the elevator (ominous gong) ... then there's a grunted sigh that the specimen emits, which may be supported by the optional pumping of the fist or cuss word. However, notice when the specimen hits a floor higher than his floor, which affects the OTHERS on the lift, and NOT him/her. Ah!! this one's interesting. There is still some degree of upsetness, but not as much, because he couldn't really give a shyte. However, flattening of lips and apologies ensue, and some mumbling amongst the fellow-elevatorers goes about in ... the elevator (sorry, you have exceeded the maximum number of gongs. Please contact your local gong administrator, or our technical support desk based in Hong Gong).

In other news, some downtime may soon become absolutely necessary for recharging purposes. Looking forward to acquiring tastes in Chicago, this Labor Day, and Dubai/India in December.

And remember, love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.
While certain well-fed film critics chomp away at Legacy of China after their review is obviously compensated by hefty sums and dim-sums, do await the original, the unbiased, the clean review of KANK which one shall submit, during the wee hours of Friday night, post-screening.

In other news, this evening is about, Rakhi on Times Square (funky, no? pictures will be posted), followed by Buddha Bar, and dinner and unwind at Rewind (Italian-Asian fusion food) on Essex Street. 2 more days and hedonism week dissolves into the weekend, marking the commencement of a 2-week hiatus in spiritual (i.e. consumption of spirits) activity.

No, I'm only kidding.

And remember, he who laughs last, probably didn't get the joke the first time.
The wait is over!

Commence the revolution of eternity

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Munh taqaa hi kare hai jis tis ka
Hairati hai ke yeh aaina kiska?

- Mir Taqi Mir


And remember, in a dog-eat-dog world, the survivor is going to be the one with the biggest appetite.

Hungry, kya?
Baar baar din yeh aaye

Baar baar hum bhool jaayein

Tum jeeyo hazaaron saal

Yeh meri hai aarzoo

and many more such cliched burfday songs!

but the underlying message is pretty clear....

Happy Birthday, Xinu!!!
Belated, but tres heartfelt! :-)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Sleeping Beauty and the Beast

KANK: 3 Days to go! Kindly do not suck! I have way too many emotional hopes and bonds with this flick.

I know its Karan Johar. I know its going to be your typical fairy-directed, happy-snappy, comedy-track-supported pinnacle of gaydom. But heck, that's what makes Bollywood seem all rosy and pink........ with a tinge of lavender, by the way......... and maybe some frilly velv........ OK STOP.

Also, I'm so glad that Desi TV on Broadband has finally arrived, and I'm lovin' it. Check out Planetvu, and I would strongly suggest getting Zee Music. Great way to keep in touch with the pop/filmi music scene back in India, especially when you don't want to wait for the weekend to catch those lame Sat/Sun shows. Lot of new channels are supposed to be coming on board soon.

In other news, today's Hurricane Hedonism forecast includes unwinding to the Blues at Dizzy's on Columbus Circle, followed by Asian fusion dinner, wine and views at Asiate, and our post-dinner lounge of choice being MOBar at the Mandarin Oriental. Although public outcry has been raised over the fact that Rise is not our nightcloser, MO shall prevail.
Living it up in NYC

As part of my self-avowed pledge to hedonism (it was a tough decision, mind you, but with all your support, I know I'll pull through ... I just know it .. *sniffle* ... *glug* *glug*), tonight's about Strata, Flute and Sushi Samba.

In other news, its August 2006. Soon we celebrate 59 years of Independence. Be Proud to be Desi!
ah ha haa haah ahaha ah haaa haaa!
ha .... ha ! ... wow ... that was fun!

In other news, Alaska should be dismembered. First of all, its the last state anyone thinks about. And now its screwing up our gas prices. Tell them Eskimos to Haul Ice! Go forth, o cold furballs, grow gills and start finding your bearings in the Bering. We will not have you promoting hybrids in a nation that thrives on wasteful luxury vehicles!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Switched at birth? Funny thing is that Carrie sings jingles for "Reeses Pieces". Hyuk hyuk. I crack myself up.

In other news, is it just me or is there a lot more roadkill out there than usual? Maybe its a sign that we're finally approaching Armageddon, i.e. furry little animals on suicidal spree.

Its amazing how much of a killer song, Rihanna's Unfaithful would've been if she didn't have that piercing, nasal, glass-splicing voice of hers. Its such a brilliantly orchestrated song.

As I recover from the haze that was Saturday Night (we ended up doing both 57-57 and Rise after hours, wrapping our night(?) up at 8:30 AM). Chevy was more than thrilled as we watch the sunrise outdoors at 'Rise', and the staff brought us complimentary mimosas in the morning. Late-night-bounty-hunters, this place is the deal!

In other news, This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a while - Sonu on Johnny Lever's talk-show. Sonu's imitations of Anu Malik, SPB, Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan, Kailash Kher, Suresh Wadkar and Adnan Sami are absolutely lethal! This guy is a phenomenon.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Coffee Day?

So Starbucks stock fell a few days ago, and this is the best excuse they could come up with. Reduction in footfalls at their facilities. Kyun bhai? Because its summer. So? So its summer, people need more frappucinos. So? Well, Frappucinos take longer to make versus espressos, therefore lesser footfalls, and hence stock falls.

Aight, and how gullible are we, the trading audience, again? I mean, we weren't born yesterday, buddy. We're e-trade (not Ameritrade) junkies, roaster boy. "We don't need no, broker nation".

Someone needs to tell these ol Sumatra java-layers to get them acts together. Give ol Starbucks some magic beans, nigga - I got some invest-inventory on dem baristas!

In other news, this Saturday night, is all about Avalon followed by APT (Cazzo Pazzo spins) followed by Crobar, this Saturday = trance-a-delic! Vodka and Russianz at Pravda, and late night dessert at Cafe Mozart. Secret chances (but don't tell her I told you) of hitting up Fifty Seven Fifty Seven, or if the weather is nice - Rise - for some Crystal later on at night, to ring in Chevy's birthday in shtyle - something dem Canadians are never good at, eh? I Love New York City, mah fogies.

(notice how my blog tries to write about things pertaining to everybody, and tries not to be judgemental about ridiculous little things. Well, some people should take a hint from that and get their bloghorns in order. Really - Some people need a life!)

Friday, August 04, 2006

In other news, STICK IT TO 'EM, MA HOMIES, STICK TO 'EM!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe, its make-believe

To all those retards who think that advertising is just a "job" and not a "career", I say this.

* Without advertising, a simple Crest-white flat-chested mp3 player wouldn't become the fashion statement of the century.

* Without advertising, the Razr would just be a mispelt shaving instrument.
(Heck, without advertising, people would still be using Nokias. Do you hear a Japanese guy weeping? maybe its just his low-battery phone beeping).

* Without advertising, there would only be cigarettes, no Lights, Milds or Ultralights, which are basically color-codes for the same exact thing.

* Without advertising, there wouldn't be so many detergent companies trying to invent shinier and higher wattage light bulbs to outshine the whiteness of "generic brand's" post-wash clothing.

* Without advertising, the "Axe" effect would just be the wierd feeling you get after you accidentally chop your arm off in a woodshop incident.

* Without advertising, artery clogging food services would have been deep-incarcerated, not multi-franchised. You loving it, yet?

* Without advertising, you'd still be eating Corn Flakes for breakfast, and Vanilla ice cream for dessert.

* Without advertising, there'd just be cars. There wouldn't be cars that make you salivate.

* Without advertising, they'd finally have to make a complete 30-minute sitcom. Oh the shame.

* Without advertising, people wouldn't know that the right mouthwash can get you into the pants of that hot Venezuelan supermodel.

* Without advertising, we wouldn't know which vodka/beer/rum makes you look cool, (although upon experimentation, clinical tests prove that its usually the one that burns a hole right through your pocket).

* Without advertising, Banana Republic would just be a fruity nation, the Gap would be something you mind before you board the Tube in London, Kenneth Cole would be garishly homeless, and nearly-correctly-spelt swear words wouldn't be 'happening', now would they?

* Without advertising, David Ogilvy would have been a very depressed man.

* Without advertising, there'd be people, not legends; there'd be products, not phenomenons; there'd be leaders, not idols.

Support the multi-billion dollar industry that makes you who you are, and makes you wanna be who you're not.

Support the powerful global mechanism that raises the bar of extra-ordinary existence every minute of every day.

Support advertising.

(Its the Rolls Royce of career options - a simile you wouldn't understand, if it weren't for itself)

This vent is purely a result of thought processing of the writer, and is not supported entirely or holistically by Advertisers, Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Associations of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies. In addition to occupying web space, this disclaimer protects all of the afore-mentioned parties from any kind of legal, administrative, emotional, psychological or sexual objection as a result of advertising-related issues, injuries or permanent disabilities. In addition to the above factors, this disclaimer would also like to inform you that If you are still reading this, you need a life.