Revolution Evolution

Sliding Doors

Yes, I'm back on the elevator etiquette topic again. I don't know why, but this facet of daily vertical commuting fascinates me.

Probably because its the most awkward social situation in the world. You could be chatting up a storm with your friend/colleague, but it all goes down when you enter .... the elevator (ominous gong). Awkward silence prevails.

Of course, there are a few of those jolly ranchers around, who walk in whistling a tune, throwing out a quick "hello" or "cute baby", to be responded by the chagrin-filled combination of squinting of the eyes, fake smile and nod of the head (try it at home, people, squint-fake-nod! yay, well done!).

Then of course there's the guy who hits the wrong floor. Oh god! As Chandler would say, could you BE more retarded? This is clear blasphemy, everyone. Now there are two situations. If he/she hits a floor lower than his/her floor, by mistake, which affects HIM/HER and has them staying a few seconds longer in ... the elevator (ominous gong) ... then there's a grunted sigh that the specimen emits, which may be supported by the optional pumping of the fist or cuss word. However, notice when the specimen hits a floor higher than his floor, which affects the OTHERS on the lift, and NOT him/her. Ah!! this one's interesting. There is still some degree of upsetness, but not as much, because he couldn't really give a shyte. However, flattening of lips and apologies ensue, and some mumbling amongst the fellow-elevatorers goes about in ... the elevator (sorry, you have exceeded the maximum number of gongs. Please contact your local gong administrator, or our technical support desk based in Hong Gong).

In other news, some downtime may soon become absolutely necessary for recharging purposes. Looking forward to acquiring tastes in Chicago, this Labor Day, and Dubai/India in December.

And remember, love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.