Friday, August 04, 2006

Maybe, its make-believe

To all those retards who think that advertising is just a "job" and not a "career", I say this.

* Without advertising, a simple Crest-white flat-chested mp3 player wouldn't become the fashion statement of the century.

* Without advertising, the Razr would just be a mispelt shaving instrument.
(Heck, without advertising, people would still be using Nokias. Do you hear a Japanese guy weeping? maybe its just his low-battery phone beeping).

* Without advertising, there would only be cigarettes, no Lights, Milds or Ultralights, which are basically color-codes for the same exact thing.

* Without advertising, there wouldn't be so many detergent companies trying to invent shinier and higher wattage light bulbs to outshine the whiteness of "generic brand's" post-wash clothing.

* Without advertising, the "Axe" effect would just be the wierd feeling you get after you accidentally chop your arm off in a woodshop incident.

* Without advertising, artery clogging food services would have been deep-incarcerated, not multi-franchised. You loving it, yet?

* Without advertising, you'd still be eating Corn Flakes for breakfast, and Vanilla ice cream for dessert.

* Without advertising, there'd just be cars. There wouldn't be cars that make you salivate.

* Without advertising, they'd finally have to make a complete 30-minute sitcom. Oh the shame.

* Without advertising, people wouldn't know that the right mouthwash can get you into the pants of that hot Venezuelan supermodel.

* Without advertising, we wouldn't know which vodka/beer/rum makes you look cool, (although upon experimentation, clinical tests prove that its usually the one that burns a hole right through your pocket).

* Without advertising, Banana Republic would just be a fruity nation, the Gap would be something you mind before you board the Tube in London, Kenneth Cole would be garishly homeless, and nearly-correctly-spelt swear words wouldn't be 'happening', now would they?

* Without advertising, David Ogilvy would have been a very depressed man.

* Without advertising, there'd be people, not legends; there'd be products, not phenomenons; there'd be leaders, not idols.

Support the multi-billion dollar industry that makes you who you are, and makes you wanna be who you're not.

Support the powerful global mechanism that raises the bar of extra-ordinary existence every minute of every day.

Support advertising.

(Its the Rolls Royce of career options - a simile you wouldn't understand, if it weren't for itself)

This vent is purely a result of thought processing of the writer, and is not supported entirely or holistically by Advertisers, Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies, or the Association of Associations of Advertisers and Advertising Agencies. In addition to occupying web space, this disclaimer protects all of the afore-mentioned parties from any kind of legal, administrative, emotional, psychological or sexual objection as a result of advertising-related issues, injuries or permanent disabilities. In addition to the above factors, this disclaimer would also like to inform you that If you are still reading this, you need a life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hysterically funny and sooo true!!! Loved the disclaimer...! Keep it up ASL! ;-)