Revolution Evolution

Elevator Etiquette

(1) The "Rudolph": When the person in the elevator pretends to reach for the "Open Door" button, when you're running towards the closing doors, but doesn't do much, and you end up ramming your nose onto cold steel, causing it to go red. This gesture is also referred to as the "I-Don't-Really-Care-But-Pretend-Really-Hard" move.

(2) The "Elevator Shuffle": The way people move around in an assembly formation, depending on the order of floors that have been clicked, so as to avoid coming in someone's way, but also to help you get off the damn elevator sooner.

(3) "Mr. Nice Guy": The inevitable cool dude who asks people for the floor they want to go to, and pretends to be the Lord of the Lifts. As if all the people on the elevator have hand-related deficiencies from over-usage over the weekend, and Mr. SmartAss is the only one with the magical fore-finger that can get people up in life.

(4) "Impatience is a virtue": The guy who triple-clicks the Open Door button when the Elevator reaches his floor. Dude, its gonna open. Chill. No one's gonna keep you in this elevator, strip you down, and make you do the hula dance while playing connect the dots with your liver spots.

(5) "Hercules": Guy who manages to slide in through closing doors, and split the elevator doors apart. Notice the struggling gesture that they make as they do this - like they're passing a stone or something. They're doors, person, not Redwoods.

(6) "I'm-too-sexy-for-this-crowd": Usually seen on Wall Street - guy in pinstripe-Domenico Vacca suit walks into elevator, clicks his floor and does the stare-around. Spending his 10-seconds catching a glimpse of each person on the elevator - like he's recording them to memory for his serial-murder task list, later in the afternoon - and then doing the smile, to satisfy himself with the fact that he is, in fact, the coolest one there. Probably the coolest because of the breezy draft running through his ears.